NO LONGER LIVE FROM Royals-Twins: It doesn't get much better than this (yes, it does)

MINNEAPOLIS -- Trying something different here, at least for me. Different, and probably, quite dull.

I'm bidding the Metrodome goodbye forever for baseball. Tonight it's the Kansas City Royals and their 44-68 record against the 54-58 Twins. Someone called David DeJesus is about to lead off for the Royals. Hang on to something.

With one out, the Royals' Willie Bloomquist homered to left field for a 1-0 K.C. lead. Who is Willie Bloomquist?

I got here via light rail, from the Mall of America to the Metrdome. I've gone all these years without entering that mall, and I didn't disrupt that record today. I am confounded at why there is as large a crowd here as there is, but it is significant.

Then again, who wouldn't want to see the reeling Twins play the worst team in the American League?

One out in the bottom of the first, Joe Mauer on deck. Based on the number of Mauer jerseys worn in the crowd, he is a god here. Every place has its peccadilloes. 

The reaction to Mauer, hitting .369, was warm but not crazy. Don't you prefer people who are warm, but not crazy?

Mauer singled, bumping his average to ... at least .370. The reaction to the hit was very warm, but not crazy.

 Justin Morneau, who has 91 RBIs  -- the Twins aren't without players -- just singled. I, meanwhile, am looking for one of those ESPN Baseball Tonight characters in the press box. Peter Gammons, or that little guy whose name escapes me ... Jason Kubel singled home Kubel and it's 1-1.

Tim Kurkjian, that's it. Anyway, he's not here, Michael Cuddyer singled home Mauer for the Twins' fourth-straight hit, and they lead 2-1.

Joe Crede hit a 3-run bomb. Everyone stood and applauded except Royals pitcher Brian Bannister, who is serving batting practice. The Twins lead 5-1 against the worst team in the American League. If I stay here for nine innings, I'll shoot a 64 tomorrow at the PGA Champi0nship.

 John Shipley, a former Gazette sportswriter and a good guy, is covering the game for St. Paul Pioneer Press.

The Royals went out without a whimper in the second, and the top of the order is already up again for the Twins. Their leadoff hitter is Denard Span, which is also  the name of the new I-35 bridge up here.

Span just stole a base. Isn't it funny how sports rewards stealing?

Mighty Mauer just struck out. It's 5-1 after 2, and someone just told me I can't shoot pictures from the press box, which is just as well because I don't want to break any rules, I'm not a professional photographer, and ... it's the Royals vs. the Twins. Now, the Twins were good enough to give me a press credential and I appreciate it, and will probably be writing a Friday column for the Gazette about the end of the baseball line for the Dome, so ... Thanks, Twins. Really.

That said, I'm picking Tiger Woods to win the PGA by six shots.

Francisco Liriano, whose Twins pitching career is supposedly on the rocks, has five strikeouts through two and two-thirda innings. I'm all about redemption, and am curious to see how Rick Pitino goes about getting some. 

When I was on the light rail, there was a 90-year-old woman in a wheelchair with her son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter. They were going to the game. I know she was 90 because they all had T-shirts wishing her a happy 90th.

I have no photo of them. I can't think of everything.

Shipley asked me who Iowa played in nonconference football games this year. When I said Arkansas State, his face was a portrait in pain.

A giant Blue Bunny ice cream container that takes two people to tote on and off the field was just used in some between-inning promotion. I didn't get it. All I know is that the participant in the contest lost.

I think I just saw an ESPN Diamond Gem by Twins shortstop (I have to look it up) Orlando Cabrera. That, or Kansas City's Billy Butler is the slowest person currently in the state of Minnesota, and that includes John Daly. 

Now at bat is Alberto Callaspo, former Cedar Rapids Kernel. But never mind that. Here's a photo of a stand outside the Dome where they sold walleye:

 The Big East has Pitino, John Calipari and Bob Huggins. How nice for the league.

Span just hit a sacrifice fly for a 6-1 Minnesota lead. You know, the Twins started tonight only five games out of the AL Central lead. Just sayin', as they say.

Cabrera just doubled in a run and increased his hitting streak to 21 games. Eight of the nine Twins in the batting lineup have hits. I knew if I came here with a positive attitude it would rub off on everyone.

We're in the fifth inning already. I just went to get a soda, and the nice lady doling out jumbo pretzels and hot dogs in the press box told me I had to pour it myself. You wanna know why, she asked. Because either she puts in too much ice or not enough.

So I put some ice in my cup and she said she would have put in more. Then I put some more in, and she laughed.

That's my soda story from the Metrodome. Cut and paste.

They're now playing Springsteen's "Working on a Dream" on the p.a., a day after I learned he's going to play Des Moines on Sept. 21. So I ask you this: Who is going to make my life easier and hook me up with two good tickets for that show?  

The Royals have one out in the sixth. They have one hit, and that was Willie Bloomquist's homer in the first inning. I think I'm seeing what makes the Royals the Royals. WAIT! DeJesus just singled bringing up the deadly Bloomquist. He flew out.

I just caught a foul ball. Kidding.

OK, now I really did catch a foul ball. Kidding.

I just caught a canned ham.

Kidding again.

Liriano just struck someone else, his eighth. He's washed up, and he's coasting with a 7-1 lead through 5 1/2. Plus, I heard Pitino just apologized. Everyone seeks redemption.

The second-base ump just called a Twins runner out though the K.C. second baseman dropped a throw from the third baseman. I just saw the replay and the infielder didn't come close to having possession of the ball before he dropped it.

Twins Manager Ron Gardenhire came out to argue, the ump stood and listened, and nothing changed. Just once, wouldn't you love it if the ump said "Skipper, I believe you're right. I blew that call, and I'm reversing it right here and now."

America needs a moment like that.

Meanwhile, University of Louisville President James Ramsey said he hopes Pitino's apology "closes the chapter." Good luck with that, Prez. You think Kentucky Wildcats fans will close the chapter on this?

The Twins and Royals have both won world championships within the last 100 years. The Cubs? Uh, no.

The Twins are closer to first place than the Red Sox.

Someone named John Bale is now pitching for the Royals, and he struck out Span.

John Bale (21 November 1495 – November, 1563) was an English churchman, historian and controversialist, and Bishop of Ossory. He wrote the oldest known historical verse drama in English (on the subject of King John), and developed and published a very extensive list of the works of British authors down to his own time, just as the monastic libraries were being dispersed.

I know. You're saying tell us something we didn't already know.

We're between the bottom of the 7th and top of the 8th, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin' '' is on the p.a., and the fans are singing along. This was after I heard ESPN Radio's Colin Cowherd ask this morning who listens to classic-rock radio.

Tonight's crowd: 30,105. And no riotous town hall behavior from a one of them.

It occurs to me I'll need to break a twenty to get change for the soda machine in my hotel tomorrow morning. One more nuisance. If anyone is reading this in a war zone, try to have some sympathy for me.

DeJesus just got thrown out at third trying to take an extra base on an error. With his team behind 7-1 in the eighth. Ladies and gents, the Kansas City Royals.

Entering the last of the eighth, fans are streaming out of here. Just a guess, but could beer sales have been cut off?

The same two teams play here tomorrow at 12:10 p.m. Come see the Royals try to earn their fifth 100-loss season in eight years.

Fast game. It's only 2:04 old in the last of the eighth. Last night's, I'm told, went 3:40. Baseball is full of numbers like this, numbers that clog peoples' brains and make them weak.

OK, I'll assume the Twins close out the Royals in the ninth. On to the PGA in the morning. Read my stuff from there (please) in the Gazette, and here at Gazetteonline.