I miss conference expansion talk with all my heart

It was gold. Every day. The rumors. The opinions. The crazy-quilt scenarios. The cloak-and-dagger stuff. The reactions from fans, media, athletic directors and university presidents on every whim and whisper.

But things have settled down for the moment. Nebraska's in the Big Ten, Colorado and Utah are in the Pac-10, Boise State is in the Mountain West, and the Big 12 is still an actual, viable ecosystem with its largest organism, Texas, still planted there.

That was it? Where was the big explosion? Where are all the fallen dominoes?

The (mostly) stability is dandy, but what about me? What about the Hlog?

In a pro sports-free zone, I need some college dirt. You don't want World Cup or World Series of Poker or Wimbledon or NBA draft stuff. Those things don't involve the University of Iowa. Especially the NBA draft.

(ESPN.com projects Iowa State's Craig Brackins to go 20th Thursday night, to the San Antonio Spurs.  "A number of GMs have told me he could end up being the sleeper of the draft," wrote Chad Ford.)

So ... you tell me. What will trip your triggers, push your buttons, move your needles, feed your horses, can your peaches?

I'm already a little burned out on preseason football rankings and the sort. But I have to cast a ballot in Associaed Press' preseason Top 25, and am considering different ways to make my selections. Putting the names of all 120 FBS schools in a hat and holding a random draw is one idea I have.

It would get me a lot of cheap heat nationally, but it would also probably get my vote taken away. Which would be blatantly unfair, since millions of American citizens have less-valid ways of choosing their candidates when they vote in public elections.

I haven't seen a movie in a theater all year. Reason: None seem like they would be any good, at least the ones that come to Cedar Rapids. Am I wrong? I mean, you can tell me Toy Story 3 is great, but no thanks. One, it's a cartoon. Two, it's called "Toy Story."

But I digress.

I didn't want to see Iowa State lose its Big 12 affiliation, but I was hoping for a lot more overall chaos with this conference-expansion business. I wanted to see the Big East pull a wild stunt to ward off any invasions from the Big Ten or ACC. I wanted the SEC to come from nowhere to pluck a school or two and turn up the heat on the Big Ten.

I want Rutgers to be invited into the Big Ten just to hear all the confusion and outcries from Big Tennites who can't figure out for the life of them what Rutgers could possibly bring to their table.

And, I admit it, I'd love to see what happened if Ohio State and Alabama decided to switch conferences just to expose their student-athletes to a different set of cultural experiences.

Oh well, "Curb Your Enthusiasm" will have new episodes sometime this year, and Ricky Gervais will be on some of them. If that isn't something to look forward to, no such thing exists.

I can't find a good "Curb" clip that doesn't contain naughty words,

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