Hlastradamus: Prophecies for the People

This year, the prophet you know, love and fear as Hlastradamus will be picking every Big Ten football game against the MGM Mirage pointspreads?

Why? For the challenge. For the thrill. Mostly, for laughs.

Alas, four of Week 1's Big Ten games have no lines because FCS teams are the opponents. That's just sad. But of the games that do have lines, follow the sage. His picks are in bold capital letters.

Tonight

WISCONSIN (-35.5) vs. UNLV.  That's a lot of points. A lot of points. But the Badgers scored 70 last year against Austin Peay and Northwestern, and hung an 83 on Indiana. However, Wisconsin was 0-2-1 vs. the spread last year in nonconference home games, and didn't have the offensive wrecking machine at full throttle until November. The Rebels were 20-point underdogs at Wisconsin last year and lost by ... 20. That's all in the past. The Badgers want to establish themselves as an elite team, and that means punishing the Las Vegans in Madison.

Saturday

BOSTON COLLEGE (-3) vs. Northwestern. Boston College has a good defense. I'll believe Northwestern quarterback Dan Persa is again a force running as well as passing when I see him run a few times. An Achilles is a terrible thing to rupture.

WESTERN MICHIGAN (+14) at Michigan. The best team is Michigan is Western Michigan. Correction. It's Michigan State. I almost goofed there.

USC (-23.5) vs. Minnesota. Yeah, USC is still on probation. But, come on, it's Minnesota at USC.

INDIANA (-6.5) vs. Ball State at Indianapolis. I'd pay to see this game. Three dollars. That's if parking were free.

OHIO STATE (-34) vs. Akron. The Zips of Akron were 1-11 last year. They have to pay for all of Ohio State's transgressions.

ARKANSAS STATE (+21) at Illinois. Arkansas State's last two games against Big Ten teams were a 3-point loss at Iowa and a 2-point loss at Indiana.

MIDDLE TENNESSEE STATE (+17) at Purdue. Middle Tennessee State played in a bowl game last season. It wasn't a BCS bowl. It was the GoDaddy.com Bowl. That's a real bowl. Seriously.