The curiosity cure

Dangerous Leaders are curious. Their curiosity is an essential part of what defines a Dangerous Leader. In 2017, I wrote a book called The Art of Living Dangerously, but it was the subtitle that I found most powerful. The subtitle was ‘the rebels[sic] guide to thriving in a world that expects you to conform.’ I was proud of that subtitle. However, two things about that subtitle could inspire curiosity.

The first is whether one might be curious about what it means to be a rebel, to know whether you are already thriving, and where the world is expecting you to conform that is making you uncomfortable. The second is how on earth that subtitle got to publishing without being challenged whether it should be ‘rebels’ to ‘rebel’s.’

That second one haunted me — it still does in some ways, but I had to get curious about why. This was my first book, which I self-published with a support team of designers and editors. We all missed it. How on earth could this happen? I was at a soccer practice for my son when another parent pointed it out.

At first, I wanted to scream. Who wouldn’t? But I responded that I was OK with it, and who knows, maybe it was by design to demonstrate the rebellion against conformity I was advocating. On some levels, that felt right, but deep down, the lack of that little punctuation was an irritant and not where the energy was needed to focus on rebellion.

I think about this every time I see someone focusing on the insignificant detail as the significant detail. When someone pulls focus to a minor issue that distracts from the bigger ideal to pursue or problem to solve. Soon, people gather around the minor issue, debating, lamenting, or raging about it while the more significant issue gains power. As leaders, we must watch for this.

Cognitive dissonance is a feeling of discomfort when you have conflicting beliefs — beliefs that don’t align with your behavior. This can occur when you are distracted by something small when you know the more significant issue demands your attention. Learning what that feels like and how your mind or body signals that to you is key to working with it.

This is where you can lean on curiosity. Be curious about those Spidey sense-like sensations. Challenge yourself to explore when you have doubts. Assess how you handled a situation for signs you ignored and wish you hadn’t.

Dangerous leaders are curious about how to be more effective, authentic, and informed.

So the next time you find yourself distracted by insufficient punctuation, ask yourself what that missing apostrophe is distracting you from. In my case, I allowed it to distract me from my pride in publishing my first book, leading to poor decisions about promoting it. Instead of being curious about how to move past it, I focused on it to the detriment of my confidence. I don’t want to do that again. I hope you don’t either.

Here is the cool thing: the Dangerous Leader philosophy is not about measuring up to a standard. Instead, it is about creating your own energy in leadership to create maximum effectiveness. Being more curious about that and less about a small trip hazard is way more fun. Be curious, Dangerous Leader, and Thrive.

Live Dangerously, Be You.

Dr. Jennifer Smith is a Cedar Rapids-based personal and executive coach, speaker, and unapologetic optimist. Comments: jennifer@dangerousleader.com; @dr.jennsmith on Instagram