The good life: Tom Arnold is finding his bliss with something old and lots of new

By Diana Nollen

Tom Arnold wants to be a standup guy in 2010.

The Ottumwa native, die-hard Hawkeye, actor, writer and producer is turning back the clock to his comedy club beginnings and actively pursuing his dream of becoming a dad.

He has a new marriage, a new sitcom script to pitch and a new show he's taking to comedy clubs in the Midwest and beyond in the new year. His tour is coming to Penguins in Cedar Rapids on Thursday, Jan. 14, and the Diamond Jo Casino in Dubuque on Jan. 16.

He's in a good place in his life.

“I definitely am,” Arnold, 50, says by phone from his home in Los Angeles. “I'm definitely very lucky. If I do the right things, I'm in a great place. Good things are going to happen and I'm ready. I'm ready to hit the ground running.

“We need to have a little bit of hope here and there,” he adds. “The best things are not planned. I'm happy if I'm making a living - I have 10 charities to support.”

From his master list of 100 resolutions, he's pulled out 10 to focus on. He says he'll be thrilled to cross half of those off his list by the end of the year. At the top is surrounding himself with positive people. He's done with negativity.

“There are certain things I want to accomplish,” he says. “If people want to be a part of that, they can. They have to be positive and want to be onboard.”

One of those positive people is his fourth wife, Ashley Groussman, whom he married Nov. 28 in Maui.

She's a home and office organizer by trade, but in show business “by proxy,” Arnold says.

“She helps me make decisions - I really respect her opinion. She very protective; she gets me going. I probably wouldn't have started the standup thing if she hadn't gone with me.”

The couple met two years ago after some of Arnold's friends staged what he calls “a lifestyle intervention.”

“I was living in the Beverly Hilton Hotel. At 48, I thought it was pretty much over for me having a family, that I'd sacrificed that part of my dream to get other opportunities.

“I didn't mind living by myself,” he says. “I'd work, come home, order room service, watch a dirty movie.”

But then his friends insisted he go to a gathering during Passover. “The lady who hosted it had her kids singing Broadway show tunes,” he says, which didn't exactly thrill him. “Then I saw Ashley and she was smiling at me.”

And now they're focusing on having their own kids.

“We're working on it as we speak,” he says.

Arnold has been in Hollywood since 1988 and sober since Dec. 10, 1989.

His career has taken him from writer, executive producer and actor on “Roseanne” to HBO specials, his own TV shows, film credits on lighter fare such as “Austin Powers” and “True Lies” to more serious roles in “Gardens of the Night” and “Happy Endings.”

He's ready for his own happy ending.

He's most proud of “surviving, despite the odds or predictions of smarter people than me,” he says. “It's not that big of a deal to survive; it's what everybody does. But apparently it's a bigger deal in this particular line of work - not a lot of people do it.”

Seeing colleagues succumb to their addictions is “frustrating and sad,” he says, “and a lot of them I know. I'm a big enough jerk I'm not going to let other people dictate what I'm going to do. And now I have responsibilities. When you're alone and it's just you, it's easier to let things go. When you have friends that really care about you, a wife and family, darn it, you have to keep going.

“A lot of knowledge comes out of those dark days. The best thing I got out of it is to remember the darkest days happened a block from where I live now. I'm very aware of how things were and how they would be in those darkest personal days. Once everything is in public - several periods before I got sober, my first divorce - for a period of months it was dark but it didn't seem that dark to me.

“Once you get sober and have a group of support, nothing is as dark. You've already been through the darkest things. When people criticize you, it doesn't mean as much as what you've already thought of yourself.

“Whatever happens now is gravy. I am not going to give up - I'm going to use it to inspire me.”

 FAST TAKEAbout the artist: http://tomarnoldcomedy.com/ Includes wedding photos

What: Tom Arnold standup comedy shows

Cedar Rapids: 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 14, Penguins Comedy Club in the Clarion Hotel, 525 33rd Ave. SW; tickets $22.50 in advance at www.penguinscomedyclub.com/cr_upcomingacts.htm or (319) 362-8133 or $24.50 day of show

Dubuque: 8 p.m. Jan. 16, Mississippi Moon Bar, Diamond Jo Casino, 301 Bell St.; tickets are $20 to $39 at http://dubuquetickets.diamondjo.com or (563) 690-2100