Courage over comfort

The past few weeks, I have found myself, once again questioning the “why” of the actions of our state Legislature. As a trained life and executive coach, I am practiced at holding the space for my clients from a place of curiosity and wonder, as to how to help them achieve their goals. I am trained to hold that space, not in judgment, but with a skilled ability to see beyond the words being said, to understand there are missing conversations needing to be heard.

For me, this is one of those conversations.

A few days ago, I shared on social media my thoughts about the events that have unfolded within our state government in recent months. The response was a mix of disillusionment, anger, sadness, and a curiosity as to how did we get here. Let me be clear; my intention is not to dive into the ongoing debate surrounding the actions of our governor and state legislators. Instead, I write as a firm believer in the idea that striving to be our best selves requires us to embrace courage in our lives. That embracing risk, even if it pushes us beyond our comfort zones, empowers us to confront challenges with courage, compassion, and an ability to build meaningful connections.

In the early 1970s, I alongside thousands of other women in Iowa found that courage. We fought for a woman to have the right to have sovereignty over our own physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. It still is beyond my comprehension that in 2023, we now find ourselves here again. In some ways it was easier then. I was young and had the energy and the passion to have difficult conversations. To march at rally’s and attend meetings throughout the state. Fifty years later the energy has waned, and my disillusionment has a different depth of betrayal I did not feel back then.

"Courage over comfort" is a phrase, I frequently use in both my coaching practice and personal life. To me, it signifies the importance of prioritizing bravery and boldness over the allure of staying within familiar and secure boundaries. It serves as a powerful reminder to step outside our comfort zones, embrace risks, and confront challenges head-on with grounded confidence. It means pushing ourselves beyond what feels easy or familiar, confronting fear and uncertainty with determination. It is a call to action, urging us to grow, learn, and evolve by daring to be open to uncharted territories and opportunities.

In this moment, I am confronted with a profound sense of the unknown, unlike anything I have experienced in my lifetime. The world seems to be engulfed in an energetic divide, where cruelty in both words and actions has sadly become acceptable, even fashionable. Despite finding comfort in the stability and security that come with age and experience, I am aware of the potential trap of complacency that can accompany them. The unexpected loss of my husband three years ago has accentuated this inclination to sometimes want to evade necessary conversations.

When I think back to the first time I met him, nearly 49 years ago. I remember how he introduced himself with a firm handshake and the resolute words, "Hi, my name is Clemens Erdahl, and I am a community organizer!" He was never one to shy away from challenges. His life was a testament to living with courage over comfort. He showed me that embracing courage empowers us to fearlessly speak our truth. And that although this journey may be unsettling at times, it can also lead to profound rewards.

One of his core beliefs was in the concept of "It takes a village," and I now understand that we are the embodiment of that village he spoke of. As I look around at the current state of the world, I feel an urgent call to action. We must embrace the courage to have the conversations that need to be had. By speaking our truths with empathy and understanding, we can bridge the divides that separate us and foster a more compassionate, united, and harmonious world.

A year before my husband’s passing, he was awarded the John Adams Award for his lifelong commitment to serving in the arena of justice. His legacy reminds me that, even in uncertain times, there is strength in community and in the courage to stand up for what is right. It is through our collective efforts, just like a village, that we can bring about positive change.

I am not naive in my understanding that we have gone way off course in our ability to have productive conversations. But by embracing these next steps with courage over comfort and facing whatever is causing this discord head on, I believe is taking the first step to remind us that we are more alike than we are different. We need to find within ourselves the ability to not react to the rhetoric of gaslighting and scapegoating, but to respond from a place that moves us in a direction of change and decency.

I believe that the pendulum will indeed swing back toward justice and a recognition of every individual's right to govern their own body. However, my life's experiences have taught me that such positive changes can only occur when we show up and engage in these critical conversations and follow them up with decisive actions. It is not enough to simply hope for a better future; we must actively participate in shaping it.

By having these courageous conversations, we can foster understanding, empathy, and unity, which are essential in driving positive change. These discussions challenge us to confront uncomfortable truths and reshape the barriers that divide us. I have witnessed this too many times in my practice, that when people have the courage to show up with an open mind and sharing heart, positive change can happen.

I believe we are once again at a crossroads. If we fail to take action and allow the movement of discord to prevail, we cannot be surprised or complain when things do not unfold as we had hoped. Positive change demands more than passive optimism; it requires active engagement and an unwavering commitment to be an active principal in our own story and that of our community. We learned over 50 years ago through collective effort and determination that we can shape a future that upholds justice, respect for individual autonomy, and the well-being of all.

Roxanne Erdahl, PCC, is a certified Dare to Lead facilitator with Erdahl Coaching. roxanne@erdahlcoaching.com