Communication key to protecting same-sex marriage, supporters say

The way to protect same-sex couples' right to marry in Iowa is to talk about it, say activists who support it.

"If people tell their stories, that breaks down the rhetoric," said Kate Varnum of Cedar Rapids. "If people hear the stories they can get past that."

Varnum, a plaintiff in the lawsuit leading to the Iowa Supreme Court's 2009 ruling that overturned a state law banning gay marriage, and other members of OneIowa are setting out to encourage those conversations. They say it's key to mobilizing the majority of Iowans they say support the same-sex marriage right to turn back opponents' efforts to take it away.

"If we go out and talk and just have this conversation with them, that puts a face on this, (and) that's how we turn the numbers," said Troy Price, OneIowa's political director.

Varnum offered a small example: she and her wife Trish Varnum must still fill out three federal income tax returns - an individual form for each and a joint return - to be able to fill out their state return.

"I told that to a co-worker last year, and he said, 'Well, that's just messed up,'" Varnum said.

The strategy includes talking to opponents on their own religious grounds, said the Rev. Tom  Capo, pastor at Peoples Church Unitarian Universalist in Cedar Rapids.

"There's nothing in the Gospels about it," said Capo, who said he's raised the issue with other members of the Iowa Inter-Faith Alliance.

"Most are supportive of this, and see it as a civil rights, not just a religious, issue," Capo said.

Price said OneIowa is also engaging conservatives, including Jeff Angelo, a Republican from Creston who served 12 years in the Iowa Senate and a former opponent of gay rights.

"He has since come around on this," Price said. "It's about conservative values of limited government. The Constitution exists to protect individuals' rights by restricting government power."

Price said OneIowa's members were encouraged by a Washington Post poll this week that for the first time found a slim national majority supporting same-sex marriage rights and by Iowa polls showing most state residents haven't been affected by the issue.

"That was encouraging for us," he said. "It shows we have a large group of Iowans we can go out and talk with. We need to go out and tell our stories."