Check out these April 1 jokes by Eastern Iowans, because newspapers aren't allowed to make jokes

Newspapering is serious business with no bias or glee. However, we can sometimes collect things that seem amusing to others and gather them for what we understand will be your amusement.

Here is a short list.

[Paste list here]

We already were making space on our business page for these Barrel-Aged Paints when someone informed us that this did not exist. We will be running something from wire instead. Congratulations Lion Bridge Brewery, if we had owned a goat, you would have gotten it.

Broccoli cookies? Disgusting. Oh wait, this too, was a joke. Greyhound Deli, when Lionbridge gives us our goat back you will have custody next.

Just when we thought we could trust people enough to love again, Oryza Asian Cuisine fooled us into thinking it was closing to change into a Cactus 6. If you need us, we will be waiting in the corner for the eventual heat death of our industry.

The I've Pet that Dog Twitter account is now petting cats? Oh, the world has gone topsy turvy. I don't think these broccoli cookies are going to stay down. Keep us in your prayers.

I pet Margot. She is 1 and lives at Taylor Veterinary Hospital. Margot was rescued as a stray. She doesn't like other cats, but she loves Great Danes. She would rather play than cuddle. Margot steals the stirrers from the office coffee station. She goes crazy for paper clips. April 1, 2019

I pet Margot. She is 1 and lives at Taylor Veterinary Hospital. Margot was rescued as a stray. She doesn't like other cats, but she loves Great Danes. She would rather play than cuddle. Margot steals the stirrers from the office coffee station. She goes crazy for paper clips. pic.twitter.com/CM6Nmj59Ll

— I've Pet That Dog (@IvePetThatDog)

We must say that Iowa City's FilmScene post that they were getting rid of popcorn did not fool us. Then they tried to tell us they were going to move into a building called The Chauncey, and we hung up on them. Calling a building The Chauncey, what do they think we are fools? Will the building have a top hat and cane? Nice try, FilmScene!

Since Hurts Donut Co. posted this on March 29 we can only assume they actually put mayo in some of their donuts. Godspeed, trailblazers!

 Citizens of the bustling metropolis of Lansing, jaywalk at your own peril!

See you tomorrow when the internet makes sense again.