Surreal Channel Surfing 2010

Nothing like relaxing with a little TV to rest your troubled mind.

Click.

“Congressman Frank Forehead not only wants to privatize your Social Security, he would send all of the money to Greece. And they'll get gyro sauce all over it.”

Click.

“It's true. Jane Juggernaut would tax your children's Halloween candy 25 percent. That's right. When your kids get home from trick-or-treating, Jane the tax witch will swoop in and snatch every fourth Snickers.”

Click.

“I'm Jane Juggernaut, and I'm not a witch.”

Click.

“Oh yes you are.”

Click.

“ ... and he'd probably do the same to your sweet little grandma. Paid for by Anonymous Americans for Accountability.”

Click.

“Forehead voted for the largest tax hike in the history of the galaxy. It's true. And he crafted legislation making Christmas illegal. That's right. Baby Jesus will be a fugitive if Grinch Forehead has his way. The proof is all in the tiny fast-moving bill numbers and dates at the bottom of your screen.”

Click.

“Left unchecked, the Iowa Supreme Court will force your children to watch ‘Glee.' You heard what I said.”

Click.

“Iowa for Truth says our Supreme Court hatched from a giant alien egg. That's just not true.”

Click.

“There's only one candidate in state House District 205 who voted to use your tax money to build a giant bronze statue of himself surrounded by heated sidewalks and Champagne fountains. And that rascal is ... .”

Click.

“The Daily Bugle used the words ‘higher taxes' and ‘Jane Juggernaut' in the very same story. Is there really anything more to say about Jane Juggernaut's reckless agenda?”

Click.

“Hi, I'm Frank Forehead. And to tell you the truth, standing in this sunny field of wildflowers, frolicking kids and chubby puppies can't rival the sheer joy I feel serving you in Washington D.C. Here Patches, come over and let Congressman Forehead rub your belly.”

Click.

“Then state Rep. Binder voted to pollute our water. I guess that's why they call her the Stream Killer.”

Click.

“ ... an irresponsible lie so big, the U.S. Geological Survey named it Mount Fibber.”

Click.

“Just watch me shoot a copy of Obamacare off this fat cat lobbyist's head.”

Click, click.

On second thought, I think I'll just go sit by a nice quiet freeway.

Comments: (319) 398-8452; todd.dorman@sourcemedia.net