Family Caregivers Center readies to open

CEDAR RAPIDS — Kathy Good regularly pins an orange silk flower to clothing.

She bought the flower while she was caring for her late husband, David, who suffered from Alzheimer's. It was purchased with what she called her 'mental health money' — money she used to buy things to care for herself during a highly stressful time.

That silk flower, in a way, has come to be the symbol of the Family Caregivers Center of Mercy — a project opening Dec. 17 at 901 Eighth Ave. SE. The center will offer free, comprehensive resources and help to those caring for loved ones.

She wore the flower when she first met with Mercy Medical Center's chief executive officer, Tim Charles, to talk about the project. And she wore it frequently when she met with Mercy Medical Center Foundation President Sue Hawn to discuss fundraising efforts — the foundation is working to raise $2.5 million for the project.

The flower Good wears looks a lot like Hawn's favorite flower, a Nasturtium — a flower that symbolizes victory in struggle.

Good's husband's favorite color was orange — the color of joy and creativity that promotes a sense of wellness that should be shared through compassion, she said.

And that's why a giant orange Nasturtium will hang on a main wall of the center.

When it opens, the 2,612-square-foot center, across from Mercy's main campus, will have rooms for different therapies — art and music — a resource library, areas for caregivers to meet with volunteers, a multipurpose room for educational sessions and a massage therapy room.

There are more than 52,000 family caregivers in Eastern Iowa who are looking after aging parents, spouses with chronic conditions or children with disabilities. These caregivers perform medical tasks, provide transportation to medical appointments, cook meals and look after finances among many other tasks.

'Ace in the hole'

It's a stressful and sometimes isolating job, project leaders said, and the center will be a comprehensive, free resource to help caregivers navigate through a difficult time.

The center will match caregivers up with a caregiver coach — someone who will assess needs, connect caregivers with exiting resources and help them form a plan — as well as a respite care and a 24-hour careline for caregivers to call with questions. The careline will be answered by former caregivers or specially trained volunteers, Good said.

Over time it will add additional resources, she said, including an app to connect caregivers to volunteers to help with chores around the house or provide transportation to a doctor's appointment, a resource library, art and music therapies, and educational sessions.

Good said the center has hired an office coordinator and about 16 coaches have been recruited and trained. They're ready to be paired with the 15 families who already have contacted the center seeking help.

Margie Ridler, who cares for her 61-year-old brother, Jim Petersmith, for one.

Jim moved in with his sister in 2014 after living in Los Angeles for several decades. A friend in LA called her in 2013, telling Ridler, 66, he was worried for Jim — he was having memory problems.

'I prayed about what to do,' she said. 'And one day it was so clear — I knew I had to be my brother's keeper.'

Once back in Cedar Rapids, Jim was diagnosed with moderate Alzheimer's. Right now, Ridler, who is retired and cleans friends' homes occasionally, said she has a good handle on things. She manages his medicine, lays out his clothes, does the cooking and deals with the finances.

'Our plan is to take one day at a time,' she said.

But she knows that the time eventually will come when she can no longer care for her brother on his own.

'With dementia, it won't improve,' she acknowledged. 'It will only get worse.'

The opening of the Family Caregivers Center is an 'ace in hole,' Ridler said — a great resource that she knows she'll need.

Caring for him is 'more of a blessing to me,' she said. 'He is such a joy. ...

He doesn't have a judgmental bone in his body. He is such a delightful person, and I don't want to define him by that disease.'

'Invaluable' resource

Chele Albert found out about the center during a lunch with Good and Charles. She was at Mercy to talk about a recent stay her mother, who has Alzheimer's, had at the hospital, she said, and once she heard about the project she immediately volunteered to be a caregiving coach.

'I've been there, I know how hard it is,' she said. 'To have one person who can hook you up to different things — that's invaluable.'

She has cared for her mother, Marge Ozburn, for many years and knows how essential these services are for others in similar situations. Albert, with the help of her two brothers, cared for her mother while she was able to stay in her home, driving her to appointments and doing other things around the house.

They eventually had to move her to an assisted-living facility, a decision Albert said was difficult emotionally as well as logistically.

'When I first knew mom needed to go off to assisted living, I didn't know what to do,' she said.

Albert had to rely on herself to find information, either through books, online forums or research on the Internet. The forums were especially helpful, she said, because she didn't feel so alone.

Even in the assisted-living center, Albert still provided a lot of care to her mother, managing medications and keeping her room clean. Her mother since has been in the hospital due to blood clots and has lost the ability to walk.

The family decided to move her to Hiawatha Care Center, a skilled nursing facility that provides 24 hour care.

'I see her on a regular basis, but she no longer recognizes me,' Albert said. 'I always knew that day would come, but there is no preparing for it.'

These days, Albert stops by the care center several times a week to pamper her mother. Her mother always took great pride in her appearance, she said, and took great care of herself. So Albert paints her nails, puts on her lipstick and does her hair.

'There have been times when I've cried,' she said. 'I've lost a little bit of her for so long. But I want it to be all about her now — who knows how long she's going to be here.'

Contact the Family Caregivers Center of Mercy:

319-550-2664

Caregiver facts:

• 52,000 — number of caregivers in Eastern Iowa

• 3,200 — number of people in Linn County with Alzheimer's disease

• 24.4 — average number of hours spent caring for a loved one each week

• 8 out of 10 — number of caregivers who wants more information about caregiving

• 40 — percent of caregivers who say caregiving is highly stressful

• 60 — percent of caregivers who are at a higher risk of depression or illness than the general population

Source:

2015 AARP report, Caregiving in the U.S.