Heroin's Hold: Abby completes three-month residential program

CEDAR RAPIDS — June 20 marked 90 days. Ninety days since Abby has been strangled by heroin's grip. Ninety days since she has shaken free from it.

The 24-year-old from Dubuque entered the Area Substance Abuse Council's Heart of Iowa — a three-month residential program for women and their children — in late March.

She was battling a six-year heroin addiction. An addiction that left her lost — her days dark and her future hazy.

'I knew I didn't want to die,' she recalled, 'that there was a beautiful, joyous, free world.'

She found it.

This past Monday, surrounded by family members, her longtime boyfriend, Ben, counselors and other women in the program, Abby received a certificate congratulating her for completing treatment.

It was an emotional day — filled with tears and laughter, hopes and cautions.

A gold coin inscribed with the phrase 'Keep it simple' was passed around the room. As each person took hold of the coin, they put something into it for Abby — strength, wisdom, confidence — and took something out — temptation, self-doubt, deception.

The women still undergoing treatment thanked her for her guidance and friendship. ASAC employees told her they appreciated her positive attitude and how her three-year-old son, Elliott, lit up their days. Her mother, father and sister were filled with pride and relief.

See also: Abby learns to find hope in Part 1 of her story

It's been a tough road for Abby and her family. Her mother, Julie, apologized for not realizing sooner how lost Abby was. Her father, Stan, told Ben he was sorry for always pointing the finger of blame in his direction. Her older sister, Kayla, wrapped her in a hug.

'From the day you were born, I knew you were my best friend,' Kayla said through tears. 'I want to grow very, very old with you — so you can make fun of my wrinkles.'

During her time in the residential program, Abby finally forgave herself. She learned to not be so critical and found self-confidence.

She breathed in a new life.

'I've done messed up things in the past,' she said of that time. 'But without them, I wouldn't be who I am today.'

Now Abby is looking forward to the future — she was accepted into Heart of Iowa's halfway program and found a job as a server at a local restaurant.

The halfway program means she has access to a car again and more free time. But with free time comes boredom and a wandering mind, she said.

That means she needs to focus on filling her time with fun and healthy things — such as when she went to the grocery store with Ben and Elliott on Monday night. The three laughed and joked as a family. They played with sparklers in a park.

That evening was a beautiful moment, she said, one that she wouldn't have been able to fully appreciate if she were still on drugs.

'I knew all along it could be like this,' she said.

That Monday during the graduation ceremony, Abby also got to play a song that represented her recovery.

She chose 'The Cave' by folk-rock band Mumford and Sons. It first resonated with her when she was pregnant with Elliott — another clean period in her life. It does even more now, she said.

As the music swelled across the otherwise quiet room — Ben held Abby's hand.

'And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again'