Work together to combat stalking, domestic violence

Eastern Iowa - we love our communities and the quality of life we enjoy here. But we are becoming more aware of the rising rate of violence related to domestic violence, dating violence, stalking and child abduction. Out of respect for the ongoing investigation and limited information about the relationship between Andrea Farrington and the alleged assailant, this is not a commentary on that case, but a response to the escalation of violence against women in the Eastern Iowa Corridor.

Small town Iowa has always been synonymous with safe homes, but six of the past 11 domestic homicides in Iowa have been in the Eastern Iowa Community Corridor or Iowa City, Coralville, North Liberty and Cedar Rapids. The Domestic Violence Intervention Program provides the only emergency safe shelter in our eight county service area (Johnson, Cedar, Des Moines, Henry, Iowa, Lee, Van Buren and Washington Counties).

The Domestic Violence Intervention Program not only helps victims of Domestic Violence, but also victims of dating violence and stalking. Stalking is defined as 'a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear”. Over 85 percent of victims are stalked by someone they know - in domestic violence or dating violence, a victim is stalked by their intimate partner for an average of 21 months after they leave their abusive partner. Of the 7.5 million people stalked each year in the United States, 15 percent of women and 6 percent of men have experienced stalking to the point where they felt very fearful or believed that they, or someone close to them, would be harmed or killed.

How a community responds to victims of violent crime is critical and requires an investment on everyone's part to reduce crimes like stalking and domestic/dating violence. Our communities are strong and practice a national model Coordinated Community Response, which is a series of cross agency protocols and safety measures put in place by the community - advocates, health/mental health care workers, law enforcement, courts, child welfare workers - to collectively support victims and hold perpetrators accountable. But these systems often address the back end of the problem - after the crime has been committed.

Our current Coordinated Community Response models lack one key element, a Bystander Network of family, friend, neighbors and co-workers looking out for and supporting victims. Bystander support networks have the capacity to intervene and prevent these crimes through thoughtful, caring support of victims and challenges to the attitudes and behaviors that perpetuate violence against women.

To have effective community change, you need to know the facts about stalking or domestic/dating violence and how to help. First, call our 24-hour crisis line, (800) 373-1043, to get real information on how you can help. Second, with guidance from our trained staff and volunteers, talk to your friend/family/colleague about the situation in a way that is respectful to their safety and needs - they likely know the situation better than anyone else, and how to best keep themselves safe or the resources they need. Third, ask what they really need; learn as much as you can from them about what they fear, what they hope for and what will change their situation for the better. And then most important - help them get what they need. Too many times we look in from the outside and make assumptions about what should happen - too many times those assumptions are wrong.

The Domestic Violence Intervention Program offers training to businesses and corporations to evaluate policies surrounding workplace stalking and domestic/dating violence, what to do to help prevent an incident at the workplace and how to safety plan with your employees when violence comes into the workplace. Please contact dvip@dvipiowa.org for more information on policy and training addressing stalking and domestic/dating violence in the workplace.

Situations like Andrea Farrington's are becoming much too commonplace in Eastern Iowa. We need to keep the conversation going about how we can keep victims of stalking, dating violence and domestic violence safe.

' Kristie Fortmann-Doser is executive director of The Domestic Violence Intervention Program. Comments: http://www.dvipiowa.org/contact-us; (319) 356-9863