Steen won’t let Krampus take kids to hell

This Republican primary for governor is going to be a real hoot.

On Saturday we heard from GOP hopeful Adam Steen, who brought his “99 Strong” campaign tour to Marion.

“I’m the faith guy. I’m the Jesus guy. I’m the guy that’s going to stand up for the principles and the values this country was founded upon.” Steen said, according to The Gazette’s Tom Barton.

Steen was director of the Iowa Department of Administrative Services when he banished the Satanic Temple of Iowa from the Capitol rotunda and stopped it from holding a holiday event. This likely ignored the Satanists’ constitutional right to have a display in a public building just like Christians display a manger.

But Steen found a loophole. The temple event would feature Krampus, the punisher of naughty children, according to European lore. Krampus carries sticks and Steen decided they posed a threat to children. So, it was really about kids’ safety.

“Krampus, whose sole purpose in life … is to beat children with sticks and take them to hell. That’s not happening on my watch,” Steen said.

I assume he’s aware Krampus is fictional, right?

It’s not unusual for Republican candidates to argue our founders were God’s stenographers when it comes to the U.S. Constitution. And Christian principles should guide our government to the greater glory of their political agenda, such as polluting God’s green earth. We have a president elected by divine intervention.

Steen calls America a “church plant,” meaning it was established by Puritans inspired by God to start a church.

“I believe that the Mayflower Compact, founded by the Puritans for the advancement of the Christian faith, is why America exists,” Steen said. “And right now, America is under attack, and it’s been under attack ever since they came over here to spread the Gospel.”

Let’s set aside the fact there was no America when pilgrims made it to Massachusetts in November 1620.

“Many American evangelicals have a warm appreciation for the Pilgrims and see them as kindred spirits. I think this is because they don’t know that much about them,” said National Endowment for Humanities public scholar John Turner in an interview in 2020, the 400th anniversary of the pilgrim’s arrival.

“The views of the Pilgrims are very foreign to nearly all streams of American religious and political thought today,“ Turner said.

The Mayflower Compact was an agreement on how best to govern the colony and establish order. It was voted on by 41 passengers, male only.

The compact is steeped in religion. But it designated no official church, nor did it mandate church attendance or baptism of children. The compact was acceptable to pilgrims and “strangers” who made the voyage, including indentured servants and others still loyal to the Church of England. So, Plymouth puritans who fled religious persecution tolerated a measure of religious freedom.

Tolerance did not extend to their Indigenous neighbors. Plymouth colonists were involved in violent military campaigns against natives. Prisoners were sold into slavery.

See what happens when you stray from the pumpkin spiced myths of Thanksgiving?

I’ve heard Krampus quit his day job and now works for the Trump administration. He’s in charge of denying health care coverage and food assistance to kids. Now, that’s scary.

(319) 398-8262; todd.dorman@thegazette.com