Commit to be Fit: Reflecting on advice from influential men in my life this Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful fathers out there. On this special day, I would like to share some of the lessons I have received from the influential men in my life.

The power of having healthy rhythms

My Grandpa Phelan’s faith was the foundation of his life. He attended daily mass, practiced Eucharistic adoration weekly, and participated in weekly Bible studies. He exercised at the same time every day, went on bike rides and visited his sister with dementia and other friends regularly. His life was grounded in consistency, and he modeled to us how small, daily habits can nurture body, mind and spirit.

Be curious and open to learning.

Even at age 98.5, my Opa kept his mind sharp by being curious. He only had an 8th-grade education, but he was incredibly intelligent because of his desire to learn. He was curious about how things worked, asked questions, and was interested in people. Thank you, Opa, for teaching me that school’s always in session when you have a curious mind!

Think good thoughts

When I was a kid, I often had nightmares or even night terrors. Sometimes I was afraid to go to sleep, worried that I might have another bad dream. My dad, who has also suffered with night terrors, would kneel by my bed and would gently encourage me to, “Think good thoughts.” I would take his advice to heart and review all the good things that happened that day, or visualize something planned in the future that I was excited about. It was with my dad’s prayers and coaching that I eventually grew out of the scary nightmares. Even as a grown adult, I can still hear my dad’s voice remind me to “Think good thoughts” before I go to bed. This mantra is one I have passed on to my children.

Remember to “Have Fun!”

If you ask anyone in our family, my father-in-law, Rick Alger, notoriously ends every phone call with, “Have fun!” At first, I would roll my eyes, thinking I’m out running errands, Rick! How fun is that? But now I look forward to his nudge to have fun. It’s a great reminder that it’s a choice and a mindset to add joy and playfulness into ordinary moments.

You can do hard things

Whenever our young kids are nervous or facing new challenges, whether it’s meeting new friends, trying a new sport, or sometimes even having a hard time going to school, my husband will often remind our children, "You can do hard things." When asked to give a presentation earlier this year, I told my husband I was flattered to be asked, but wouldn’t be doing it because speaking in front of people makes me really nervous. He listened and then said, "Wow. This sounds like it would be really challenging for you." And I said, "Exactly. That’s why I’m not doing it." Then he smiled… and you can probably guess what he said next: "Kylie, you can do hard things." It was his confidence and encouragement that cheered me on, and led me to challenge myself.

A Unique and Meaningful Father’s Day Gift: You may have already selected gifts for the special men in your life. If those men are still living, how about taking some time today to share your gratitude for the important lessons you have learned from them. If those loved ones have passed on, your love, gratitude and even forgiveness has the ability to transcend time and space.

P.S. We usually focus on giving gifts to dads on this day, but fathers, the greatest gift you can give your children is your love and affirmation. Simple words like: “I’m proud of you.” “I’m so glad you’re my son/daughter.” “I believe in you.” “I love you so much.” These words matter… at any age.

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Kylie Alger is a certified wellness coach and co-owner of the Well-Woman: Body, Mind & Spirit. Comments: kylie@thewellwoman.org.