Commit to be Fit: Learning to accept different perspectives

Recently, I had an eye-opening conversation with a close friend about our beliefs regarding the afterlife. To my surprise, I learned that her views were vastly different from mine, so different that I found myself struggling to comprehend her perspective. During the conversation, I remember thinking, “How are we such good friends when we have such drastically different beliefs?”

Later that day, I shared the conversation with my husband. He listened quietly, and then offered a simple observation: “It sounds like you just want her to believe what you believe and she wants you to believe what she believes.”

His words stopped me in my tracks. “Believe what I believe.” He was right. Beneath the surface, we both desired the other’s validation — something deeply human, but also a source of conflict throughout history. Differences in belief have sparked wars, divided families, and driven lifelong friends apart. Even today, political or religious differences can lead to colleagues rolling their eyes in the office or friends and family members drifting apart.

This is especially true with the upcoming election in November. It seems inevitable that many of us will encounter disagreements with loved ones, friends, and colleagues over political views. But how can we navigate these differences without damaging meaningful relationships?

Here are a few tips I’ve found helpful when dealing with different perspectives.

Lead with empathy

Be curious and try to understand why the other person holds their views. Often, deeply held beliefs are shaped by personal experiences, backgrounds and values. Asking questions, listening closely, and putting yourself in their shoes opens the door to meaningful dialogue.

Avoid debating to “win”

Political disagreements often spiral into arguments because both parties are trying to convince the other they’re wrong. Instead of approaching these conversations as a battle to win, aim for understanding.

Respect boundaries

It’s important to recognize when a conversation is becoming too heated. If you feel the discussion is heading in a negative direction, it’s OK to agree to disagree or set boundaries around discussing certain topics. Protecting meaningful relationships should be the priority.

Social cohesion and belonging

You may have noticed that I didn’t reveal who held which belief in the afterlife story I shared earlier. That’s because this article isn’t about one’s viewpoint being right or wrong — it’s about something deeper. My hope is to encourage you to reflect on how your ego reacts when someone holds a different viewpoint than your own — whether it’s Democrat vs. Republican, pro-choice vs. pro-life, or any other divisive issue. As humans, we naturally seek comfort and validation from those who share our beliefs; it’s part of our innate need for belonging.

Understanding this, ask yourself: Is there a relationship in your life that could benefit from setting aside your ego and simply agreeing to disagree? Could letting go of the need to be right lead to more understanding and connection? Can a damaged relationship be salvaged? Yes, yes it can.

Love with no exceptions

I once saw an artist who created a collage of paintings of Jesus washing people’s feet. In the collection, Jesus was depicted washing the feet of a homeless man, a police officer, a new mother holding her baby, a stressed laborer hunched over holding his head in his hands, an older gentleman, and former presidents Barack Obama and Donald Trump.

The artist’s message was clear: We are called to love everyone, regardless of their politics, religion, who they love, or how they live their lives. The message is simple but profound: “Love your neighbor who doesn’t look like you, think like you, love like you, speak like you, pray like you, or vote like you. Love your neighbor with no exceptions.”

Kylie Alger is a certified wellness coach and co-owner of the Well-Woman: Body, Mind & Spirit. Comments: kylie@thewellwoman.org.