2 fabulous teams, the biggest Cy-Hawk football game in history. You dare scoff?

It’s not easy out-homering all the homers who cover Iowa and Iowa State athletics, but by golly, I’m going to do it today.

By the way, that’s said with the realization most of us in media have corporate overlords to please. Encouraging their worker bees to be fanboys and fangirls seems to be on Page 1 of their playbooks.

At least none of those outfits are Russian assets, at least until proven otherwise.

Rather than breaking down Saturday’s Iowa State-Iowa football game — as if anyone could correctly predict the predictably odd things that will occur — let’s cut to the chase. The winner of this game is going to the College Football Playoff.

As is the loser.

Hopefully, one of the two will get a top-four seed and a first-round bye, and the other will get a first-round game at home. Expecting both to be in the top four seems a bit much, though all that probably takes is for them to go a combined 25-1 after Saturday.

(By the way, it really ticks me off that I didn’t call last Saturday’s Illinois State-Iowa game “Ferentz Bueller’s Day Off.” Do you think Kirk Ferentz has watched “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?” I, for one, do not.)

Anyway, if those predictions seem a bit optimistic to you, then please go elsewhere with your doubts and whatnot. You’re harshing our buzz.

Saturday is prologue to the greatest football season in Iowa, bar none. This game in Kinnick Stadium is just plain big. Big? It will end up containing more meaning than any Cy-Hawk game in history.

Speaking of “Cy-Hawk,” I’ve railed against the incredibly dull name of the series for years. Yet, no one ever lifts a finger to abolish it and come up with something far better, like “The I-35/I-80 Road to a Riotous Good Time, But Please Don’t Take ‘Riotous’ Literally Game.”

Not even the horrendous “Cy-Hawk” handle can diminish this year’s clash. For those around the nation who think the preceding Texas-Michigan game matters more, you might as well wake up and smell the sweet corn.

You dare scoff? Fine. You’d have done the same two weeks ago if I’d told you Iowa State and Iowa football would be held in far higher esteem than Florida State and Florida by Sept. 7.

Florida, incidentally, is flatter than Iowa. The highest elevation anywhere in Florida is 345 feet, half as high as Iowa City and almost three times lower than Ames.

As sea levels inevitably keep rising and Florida gets wetter and wetter, landlocked (for now) Iowa State and Iowa will look better and better to star Florida high school football players.

Melt, you Arctic ice sheets! Amirite, Cyclone and Hawkeye fans?

The world does change, you know. Four new schools have entered the Big Ten and eight new ones began Big 12 play since the Cyclones and Hawkeyes last met in Kinnick Stadium. That was two whole years ago.

Jim Harbaugh no longer is in the Big Ten. The goofy Oregon Duck mascot has taken his place.

Texas and Oklahoma are gone from the Big 12, replaced by someone who thinks he’s bigger than both of them combined. Maybe Deion Sanders is just that, since he is in television commercials with Nick Saban and the Aflac Duck. Boy, there are a lot of ducks involved in college football.

What were we talking about again? Ah yes, Saturday’s civil war in Kinnick. Although, it can’t be called the Civil War since that’s what they call the Oregon-Oregon State game. Nor can it be called the Holy War since that’s what they call the Utah-BYU game.

Not to worry. There’s always another war around the corner.

So, let’s wrap this up by saying Iowa State seems to have a good team, Iowa seems to have a good team, and oh the places they’ll go.

There’s so much more that can be said about Saturday’s game, so much enthusiasm and excitement that can be felt before the fur flies. But I’ll defer to the wisdom Dr. Frasier Crane shared in a Boston bar called “Cheers” back in the day:

Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

Mike Hlas is a six-time National Sports Media Association Iowa Sportswriter of the Year. Comments: (319) 398-8440; mike.hlas@thegazette.com