If I only were an Iowa legislator

I wish I were an Iowa legislator. They become so wise upon arriving at the Capitol in Des Moines. I could while away the hours and then just automatically know:

•More history and civics than any professor. I would be able to write better curricula than any educator.

•More than any philosopher, theologian, or physician as to when life begins.

•The difference between a man and a woman but not the difference between a chicken and an egg.

•Good Samaritans should be arrested in Iowa for helping undocumented immigrants.

•To give hungry kids food will just make them fat.

•Smaller government and more guns will make us safe.

•Trans kids and global warming are hoaxes, but voter fraud and critical race theory are threats.

• Iowans don’t want more public lands, nursing home inspectors, or clean waterways because they want lower taxes.

•We can underfund education in Iowa and rob public schools to pay private schools.

•We hate cancel culture, but diversity, equity, and inclusion are terrible ideas that need to be stamped out of our universities.

•We don’t trust teachers to teach but we trust them to carry guns in the classroom.

•Lawmakers don’t need to campaign on programs they will advance if elected because voters don’t care.

•Iowa needs more hog confinement facilities, more gambling, and less local control by local governments.

With the thoughts I’d be thinkin,’ I could be another Lincoln … if I only were a legislator!

David Mannsheim

Parkersburg