We can reduce gender-based violence

The Battered Women’s Movement organized in the 1970s and the Violence Against Women Act became law in 1994. Nearly 50 years later we have not seen a decrease in violence against women. Maybe we need to change the narrative.

Over 98% of violent crime is committed by men. Domestic and sexual violence committed by men costs employers and social systems billions of dollars each year. Most violent incidents against women are not even reported to law enforcement, so our current carceral interventions have little impact. If we really want violence against women to stop, we need to give men and boys the information and tools to be able to show up differently in their relationships.

We can significantly reduce gender-based violence if we choose to. There are evidence-based curricula currently being used with men who harm women. Iowa needs to invest in them to give men an opportunity to learn healthy ways of being in a relationship. Gender-based violence is a learned behavior. Children who witness violence are far more likely to use or accept violence in relationships. Social scientists tell us that we cannot unlearn behaviors, but our brains are wired to learn new behaviors that can replace the old.

Gender-based violence starts as soon as kids start dating, often by fifth or sixth grade. There are school based curricula that can teach kids what healthy relationships look and feel like before they establish harmful patterns that can set them up for a lifetime of violence. Those curricula need to be incorporated into Iowa schools.

It is mind-boggling how we continue to stick our heads in the sand and pretend gender-based violence is not a problem because it’s not happening to us. It is a societal problem, a community problem, and a family problem. It impacts our kids and grandkids when they sit next to a child in school whose mom got beat up the night before and didn’t get out of bed to make breakfast. The trauma of that incident will travel to school with the child and show up as maladaptive behaviors impacting the entire classroom.

I’m calling on our leaders, from school boards to the governor, to take this public health crisis seriously and do these three things in 2024: 1. fully fund programs that work with victims of gender-based violence; 2. mandate anti-gender-based violence curricula be taught in all schools beginning in fifth grade; 3. fund evidence-based programs that teach men how to function in relationships without using coercive control and violence.

We can build better families and communities! We can save millions in lost work, medical expenses, and court costs. Most importantly we can reduce generational trauma and suffering. My experience is that most men don’t want to hurt the people they love they simply don’t have a healthy skill set to navigate interpersonal relationships.

Lorraine Uehling is executive director of the Family Crisis Center in Ottumwa.