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Commit to be Fit: Ditch impossible goals, try manageable moments
Kylie Alger
Mar. 1, 2024 6:15 am
Feeling pressure to meet some lofty New Year’s resolutions? Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist, mom of three, and author of “Good Inside” might be able to help.
At the beginning of her podcast, Kennedy acknowledged the immense pressure we impose on ourselves to “dominate” the new year with lofty goals. She shared how a client boldly declared that her 2024 resolution was to stop yelling at her children. I found it wonderfully relatable when Kennedy chuckled and then whispered to her audience, “Wouldn’t that be great? Not yelling at your kids for a whole year! I don’t know about you, but for me, that feels very daunting.”
It was at this moment that Kennedy offered a paradigm shift — one that resonated deeply with me. She said instead of fixating on the impossible goal of never yelling at her children, she proposed the concept of “manageable moments.”
“What if instead of never yelling, we just try not yelling for a certain amount of time in the morning? I’m not talking about lowering the bar, I’m actually talking about building momentum,” explains Kennedy. “When we set ‘manageable moments’ for ourselves, we’re able to experience ourselves as capable. At the end of the day, we can say, ‘I did exactly what I said I was going to do. I didn’t yell from 8 a.m. to 8:10 a.m.’ When achieving our objective, no matter how small, we start to feel capable, hopeful, and optimistic. These are exactly the feelings we want to feel when tackling goals that are important to us, as it helps us to build momentum to achieve our larger goals.”
The concept of “manageable moments” invites us to shift our focus from unattainable long-term perfection to the present moment, where real change begins. It acknowledges that change doesn’t happen overnight, but rather through the accumulation of mindful choices made in the here and now.
Some manageable moment ideas for health and wellness:
- Mindfulness: If the idea of maintaining a daily meditation practice sounds overwhelming, start small by dedicating a brief moment to quiet reflection, deep breathing, or simply grounding ourselves in the present moment.
- Healthy eating: Instead of dwelling on guilt after indulging in an unhealthy meal, why not focus on your next manageable moment? This will create an opportunity to pivot and make a conscious healthier choice at your next (or current) meal. “What can I eat now that will help fuel and nourish my body?”
- Managing stress: It’s important to realize the power of our minds. Our thoughts can either make a situation easier or more difficult, depending on the story we choose to tell ourselves. While we may not have control over life’s variables, we do have control over our thoughts. “In this moment, is there something I can be grateful for? In this moment, do I choose to forgive, or hold a grudge? In this moment, is there something I can learn?”
Ultimately, the beauty of manageable moments lies in its simplicity and power. By embracing the present moment and making small, intentional choices, we empower ourselves to take meaningful action toward health, wellness and personal growth — one manageable moment at a time.
Kylie Alger is a certified wellness coach and co-owner of the Well-Woman: Body, Mind & Spirit. Comments: kylie@thewellwoman.org.
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