Perry Sparks Possible 'Shock Wave' Shortage

WASHINGTON - (Fake News) - News first reported by Politico that Texas Gov. Rick Perry will announce his intention to run for president in South Carolina Saturday has sparked fears among the purveyors of political cliches of a possible "shock wave" shortage.

"Clearly, by signaling a run on the same day as the Ames Straw Poll, Perry is going to send, well, you know what, through the race for the GOP nomination," said Sid Slick, general manager of At the End of the Day - Political Cliches, Hyperbole and More, a big box factory outlet based in Falls Church, Va., near the nation's governmental and cliche capital.

Slick said "Shock Wave," "Shockwave" and plural constructions started flying off the shelves this afternoon.

That's hardly a surprise.

From Politico:

It's uncertain whether Saturday will mark a formal declaration, but Perry's decision to disclose his intentions the same day as the Ames straw poll - and then hours later make his first trip to New Hampshire - will send shock waves through the race and upend whatever results come out of the straw poll.

Slick said the nation's shock wave supply was already seriously depleted following the dramatic debt ceiling saga and Friday's decision by Standard & Poor's to downgrade the nation's credit rating.

"We haven't been this low on "shock" since the Iraq invasion," Slick said.  "We, however, are fully stocked with "awe" right now. And, luckily, we're expecting a train load of "train wreck" any day now."

Analysts believe the full cliche impact of Perry's plunge into the race will likely go well beyond "shock wave." Some have warned that hyperbole hyperinflation may cause cliche prices to skyrocket.

Slick expects "overshadowed," "stole their thunder," "raised eyebrows," "reset the race," "changed the narrative," "altered the landscape,"  "sent rivals scrambling" and "reshuffled the deck," will also be in high demand this weekend. Various Texas cliches about two-steps, six guns, big hats, armadillos and Alamo will also likely get a workout.

"With the Straw Poll and the Perry bombshell, this will be a Super Bowl of political cliches, which, of course, is also a cliche," Slick said. "It's a political perfect storm. Sorry. I can't help myself.

"It's going to be a very hectic weekend. I only hope our stocks hold out. We'll just pray that Sarah Palin remains quiet," Slick said.