What if Palin's Tour Comes to Iowa?

?

Rumor has it that Sarah Palin may bring her family vacation/media circus tour to Iowa sometime this month.

Maybe you've seen coverage of Palin's “One Nation” bus with a caravan of reporters in hot pursuit. She's gone through a string of historic sights like a whirlwind and won't tell media types where she's headed next, insisting it's just a typical family vacation with a huge bus and Greta Van Susteren.

I wonder what it will be like here. To the future...

BURLINGTON, Iowa (Fake News) - More than a dozen vehicles carrying reporters chasing Sarah Palin's tour bus down historic Snake Alley - famously dubbed “The World's Crookedest Street” - lost control, collided and piled up in a pathetic, dented mass of journalistic futility Saturday.

Only minor injuries were reported. Several bloggers complained of pain while tweeting.

“First Politico went down, then the Daily Beast, The Daily Caller, The Daily, The Daily Show and poor Anderson Cooper, all into the bushes. Oh, the humanity,” said MSNBC's Chris Matthews.

Palin did not stop, but did issue a brief statement on Twitter.

“SarahPalinUSA - LOL LOL Lamestream cleanup on Snake Alley! Greta laughing so hard freedom smoothie came out her nose!!”

Her caravan continued to the Hoover museum in West Branch, where Palin said she hoped to see “why this Obama economy sucks so bad.” The museum chronicles the life of the former president, not the vacuum cleaner brand.

She spent 6 minutes at the “American Gothic” house in Eldon, where she posed, winking, with a pitchfork, caribou rifle and torch. At “Little Amana,” on Interstate 80, Palin said, “These patriotic colonists who settled here, so close to a superhighway, clearly understood the value of expanded oil drilling.”

In Winterset, Palin visited the John Wayne Birthplace wearing shiny six guns, and showed off her skills by shooting the iPhone out of a New York Times reporter's hand.

Later, her bus became stuck as it tried to cross a covered bridge. A Fox News Chinook helicopter soon dropped in a replacement vehicle named "One Nation II."

Several more reporters were thwarted nearby when a wily coyote reportedly working for Palin painted a fake road and tunnel leading into the side of a hill.

Palin flatly rejected the notion that bringing a huge campaign-style bus tour into the leadoff caucus state has anything at all to do with her political ambitions. “It's a big ‘ol coinkydink. I'm just here to meet some Iowa patriots who love their gosh darn country so much. Down-to-earth folks, farmers, housewives ... precinct captains,” Palin said, just as a giant trap door opened beneath assembled media.

Yep, can't wait.

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