It's a Date. Bring Plenty of Cash.

So 1-3-12 is now set in stone.

No, I'm not talking about Herman Cain's plan for universal health care - one apple, three aspirin, 12 sit-ups. I'm talking about the now firmly anchored, written in permanent ink, date of your 2012 first-in-the-nation Iowa caucuses.

What are you doing New Year's Eve? You're getting robo-called every 12.5 minutes by Rick Santorum, that's what. Skip the bubbly. Hit the hay early. You've got to keep a clear head.

Because on the evening of the third, after one last phone call to Chris Christie, Iowa will fire the starting gun on the 2012 presidential race. Bit of trivia, it's actually the exact same historic sidearm that Rick Perry has used to shoot his campaign in the foot, over and over again, in recent weeks.

Iowa will be first, unless New Hampshire holds its primary in early December, perhaps on the very same night “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” airs. And, again, no, I'm not talking about Cain's tax plan.

Iowa Republicans have fought long and hard to remain first, or at least as firstiest as possible. Florida moved its primary into January. Then Nevada moved its caucuses to mid January. So Iowa moved, too, while demanding that Nevada move again. Iowa's caucuses also had to move to Jan. 3 four years ago.

Why do party leaders fight so courageously to keep us first? Perhaps, it's a solemn belief in the humble wisdom of Iowans who trudge through a winter's chill to render a crucial verdict on the country's future. Maybe it's the fact that Iowa is a such a sturdy, tough, but fair-minded, proving ground for would-be presidents.

Also, the caucuses are a big 'ol money machine.

In August, the month of the famous Ames GOP Straw Poll, the Republican Party of Iowa took in nearly $650,000. It has raised nearly $1.5 million this year, according to filings with the Federal Election Commission. Iowa Democrats, with caucuses but no competition, raised half that much.

Presidential hopefuls Michele Bachmann and Ron Paul, who finished one-two in the straw poll, each gave more than $200,000 to the state GOP this year. It's no secret that doing well in the poll means buying lots of votes/tickets from the GOP.

Straw casualty Tim Pawlenty forked over $132,000, Santorum $81,000 and Cain $44,000. Sarah Palin's PAC even chipped in $5,000.

This is why when pundits and scribes gripe about the straw poll being an overhyped joke, Iowa Republicans simply smile, shrug, climb on to their forklifts and haul pallets of money into giant cash caves.

The GOP will use some of this dough to bankroll its bid to grab legislative control and help the party's presidential nominee win Iowa's precious electoral votes. Compare this year's Iowa GOP take to other states our size. Republicans in Kansas and Arkansas, for example, raised just north of $200,000 in this off-year. Iowa's 2011 pile looks more like Ohio's $1.4 million.

So it's good to be an Iowa Republican in 2011, and a Democrat in other caucus years. Party leaders will do whatever it takes to keep it that way, even if it means crashing New Year's. Or, Newt Year's, as we now call it in Iowa.