Reconnecting on Siren Wednesdays

Cedar Rapidian Briana Smallwood is known for many things — developing leaders, co-owning and operating Vivian’s Soul Food, and her dynamic keynote speeches. I sat with her recently to learn more about how her experiences with motherhood, corporate leadership, and entrepreneurship have led her to become a community builder in a new way.

Briana spent many years throwing herself into her professional life and into motherhood. With a corporate career already well underway and two young girls in the house, she founded a local restaurant and then began mentoring other small businesses as well.

“When I started Vivian’s Soul Food, I think a lot of the community was doubtful about where it was going to go. Within six months, there were lines around the building — we went 4x within two years. Many people wanted to know the recipe — not to the food but to the business. I mentored and coached and consulted a lot of small businesses that are still alive and well and thriving.”

You are probably one of the most organized people I have ever met. Was there something in your childhood or in your life that caused you to become this regimented or were you just born with a planner in your hand?

“I’m the oldest of four; my mother had 4 children by the time she was 25. I was leaned on quite a bit. I was watching my brother when he was 2 and I was 8 or 9. My mother is also very powerful, she started working from home before it was so common … I was like her guard dog, keeping the other kids quiet. I already had these built-in habits: how to take notes, organize your time — I wasn’t necessarily taught but I had watched my mom.”

You’ve been through quite a bit of change over the past few years. During a period of personal difficulty, you created Siren Wednesdays. Will you please share what that is and how it has impacted women in the corridor?

“Siren Wednesdays started because I found myself so dedicated to work things and business. I knew so many people, but I didn’t have anyone that I could call and say ‘let’s get together, let’s have some wine.’ My best friend was living in Denver, my sister was in Phoenix. It was just me. In 2021, I put on my vision board ‘one monthly girls night’. I didn’t even know who the girls were going to be!”

With a post on social media, Briana sent out an invitation to women in the area who would like the opportunity to socialize. She set the events for the first Wednesday of each month, coinciding with the monthly siren tests in Cedar Rapids. The gatherings are informal and come-as-you-are, with no agenda.

“I was trying to develop relationships that were more than ‘can you help me put together this presentation?’ I needed more than that, I just didn’t know how to get it.”

Over time, the Sirens gatherings have come to serve as an outlet and a necessary hub for socialization among women in the corridor. Several attendees have shared that the meeting space is critical for their mental health. One noted that her children were excited about Sirens, because the gatherings had improved her well-being. One, a stay-at-home mother, hadn’t had any social adult interaction in three years; however, those in the professional world are experiencing isolation as well. A 2023 study revealed that 53 percent of women in the workplace experience loneliness — and the statistics get worse as they rise among the ranks.

“We have this growing community of women — sometimes it’s five of us, sometimes it’s 30. I started this for selfish reasons. I wanted to be around other women, but I’ve realized it is so much bigger than me and that it has served this purpose for (attendees) too.”

Women are often so discouraged from prioritizing the things that we actually need. You call it a selfish endeavor, but you were just finding a way to meet your needs. I don’t know if that’s really selfish.

“I agree. It’s self-care. I remember being in a (head) space where you could ask me what I liked, I didn’t know what I liked. Ask me what I wanted to do, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. But ask me about goals for my business, ask me about goals for my children — easily! I could tell you all day long, but to come up with what I liked and wanted was very difficult. I’m seeing now that so many women are in that situation. You feel like (the problem) is you. Women don’t talk about it.”

We are rewarded for being adaptable to the needs of everyone around us — then we’re a good mother, a good partner, a good employee. We have given up everything we needed in the pursuit of what was important for someone else.

“That’s when we’re GREAT.”

But are we happy?

Briana tilts her head, a half-smile on her lips.

What are you most proud of?

“I have experienced many things that could have made me avoid entering the business space. People ask if I feel the closure of my most known business is a loss. I feel like I graduated from business school. I took so many losses, but I had many lessons and successes also. Personally, I’m really proud of my level of self-awareness. It takes so much strength to be self aware because you have to understand the things about yourself that you don’t like, the things about yourself that you’re scared of … you have to be able to see those things before you can do anything about it.”

How would you describe the legacy that you want to leave?

“I want my daughters to never question their value. I think that struggling with self-worth is a generational curse, and it is my duty to change that. I want my children to be well-set, but I think if their character is well-set they will be set up.”

For more information on Briana, visit brianaspeaks.com

Sofia DeMartino is a Gazette editorial fellow. sofia.demartino@thegazette.com