Xavier Coach Tom Lilly: 5 state titles, nearly 600 wins and a few regrets

CEDAR RAPIDS — He could have walked away last March, a fifth state championship in tow.

But, Tom Lilly asks: “What else would I do?”

There’s still another milestone, which won’t take long to achieve. But that’s not the driving force as Lilly enters his 38th season as girls’ basketball coach, his 25th at Cedar Rapids Xavier.

“Everybody asks, ‘Are you excited?’” Lilly said. “I’m looking forward to molding a new group of young kids.”

This probably won’t be Lilly’s last season, either. His teaching certificate expires in March 2025.

He’ll be 70 then. And it’s better than even-money that he’ll be coaching through the 2024-25 season, at least.

Like he said, what else is he going to do?

“It’s always fun to see if we have another (Libby) Fandel coming,” Lilly said, referring to his sophomore all-stater. “I’m not sure those come along every day.”

Of course they don’t. As a freshman last year, Fandel was the final piece, albeit a major one, in Xavier’s championship puzzle.

The Saints reached the state tournament for the 14th time. They beat DeWitt Central in the first round, then it got fun. Or stressful, depending on your point of view.

Xavier outlasted Dallas Center-Grimes in triple overtime, then rallied from a nine-point second-half deficit to sprint past Sioux City Heelan for the Class 4A crown, 54-40.

“Last year, Mary Kate (Moeder) and those seniors really led us,” senior Emma Arnold said. “Now it’s our turn to step up and do it.”

Now, a new box awaits, ready to be opened, another puzzle inside.

The identity to this year’s team?

“I’m going to ask them that (at practice) tomorrow,” Lilly said last week. “What do you want people to think you are? Aggressive? Tenacious? A tough-nosed defensive team? I want people to think, ‘When we play Xavier, we’re going to be in for a game.’”

The Saints open at Davenport Assumption next Tuesday, then follow that with a rematch with Heelan at Rivalry Saturday on Nov. 26.

Lilly’s career record is 598-275, including 409-173 at Xavier.

Sixteen girls’ basketball coaches within Iowa have won 600 games in their careers.

“Six hundred is the furthest thing from my mind,” Lilly said. “If other people want to chase those things, good for them. There are people out there that are better than me that don’t have that opportunity.”

Looking back to the start of this uncommon career (it started as a lower-level girls’ and boys’ coach, then he became the varsity coach at Cedar Rapids Regis in 1985), and there’s a lot of good to recall. Most notably, state championships in 2003, 2005, 2007, 2013 and 2022.

But it came at a price.

“There were times that, I think, I neglected my family,” Lilly said. “They weren’t the priority they should have been, and I feel horrible about that.”

Lilly was asked what the 67-year-old version of himself would say to a younger version.

“The 67-year-old Tom Lilly would tell the 37-year-old that you need to realize these children have parents that love them unconditionally,” he said.

“The young Tom Lilly didn’t care. He was meaner and nastier than he should have been. It was all about results.

“The older Tom Lilly also would remind the young one, ‘Hey, you have your own family. There are going to be times you come home from practice and you’re tired. What you need to do is read to your kids at bedtime. Go to their soccer matches.’

“(Wife) Elizabeth would tell me, ‘Your son has a soccer match at Tuma.’ I should have gone to more of those.

“Time is your greatest gift. You’re never going to get it back.”

Senior Kyla Mason heard tales about the younger, less diplomatic Lilly.

“I hear he used to make the girls run a lot,” Mason said. “Now we do a lot of running with drills. It’s not like he just puts us on the line and blows his whistle.”

Beth Samek graduated from Xavier in 2006, and was a member of the Saints’ second championship team of 2005.

Now, as an assistant coach, she is witness these days to a softer, more human Lilly.

“Overall, he’s the same guy he was when I played,” Samek said. “I think time has given him a little more patience. He shows his heart a little more. We always knew it was there.”

Comments: jeff.linder@thegazette.com