Even the most-enduring football coaches can’t outlast U.S. senators

I don’t understand much about anything.

How do people build skyscrapers or bridges or corn mazes? No idea. Why aren’t all cars electric? Dunno. Why are we here and where are we going? OK, I know that, but that’s for another day.

Here’s another puzzler: Why are U.S. senators and presidents noticeably older than major-college and NFL football coaches? Isn’t the work of a senator far more important and thus, dependent on being at the height of their mental powers? Affecting the lives of millions of people is what they do, right?

First, let’s get to the most-important part of this essay: It is not political or tribal. Do not make it so. Please, do not.

Don’t!

Of the 10 oldest senators, five are Republicans and five are Democrats or independents who caucus with Democrats, so this is right down the middle. They range from 78 to 89 years old.

The eldest is California Democrat Dianne Feinstein, who is 89, eight months older than Iowa Republican Chuck Grassley, also 89. Richard Shelby is 88, Jim Inhofe 87. Three others are at least 80. As of Sept. 30, the average age of the 100 senators was 64.3.

The current president, Joe Biden, is 80. His predecessor, Donald Trump, is 76. They were the two oldest presidents at the time they took the oath of office.

But the oldest FBS head coach out of the 131 of them is North Carolina’s Mack Brown, 71. Alabama’s Nick Saban is 70, Iowa’s Kirk Ferentz is 67.

The second-oldest Big Ten coach is Michigan’s Jim Harbaugh, 58. Three of the league’s coaches are in their 40s, and interim Wisconsin head coach Jim Leonhard will make four if he gets the full-time job as expected.

Some heads of big-time programs are babies. Ohio State’s Ryan Day is 43. USC’s Lincoln Riley is 39. Marcus Freeman of Notre Dame is 36. Where are my 40-year-old senators?

Where are my 85-year-old head football coaches?

The NFL is no different. Pete Carroll is the oldest current NFL coach at 71, and Bill Belichick is 70. Only three of the 29 others are 60 or older. Seven are 40 or younger. Sean McVay, 36, was the coach of the Super Bowl-winning Los Angeles Rams earlier this year.

Only one of the 100 senators, Jon Ossoff, is under 40.

This year, Romeo Crennel retired as the NFL’s oldest coach of all-time at 74. Why does football burn people out much faster than the U.S. Senate?

Basketball isn’t much different. The ACC has the oldest active Division I head coach in 77-year-old Jim Boeheim, and has Leonard Hamilton of Florida State (73) and Jim Larranaga of Miami (72).

Two oldies, Roy Williams and Mike Krzyzewski are recent retirees. They would just be getting started if they were senators.

At 63, Iowa’s Fran McCaffery is the third-oldest Big Ten coach behind Tom Izzo (67) and Mike Woodson (64). What makes me feel old, though, is realizing Fred Hoiberg is 50. And Bret Bielema is 52.

Worse, when the NCAA basketball tournament rolls around in March and you see all those credit card commercials with Charles Barkley, Spike Lee and Samuel L. Jackson, know that they’ll be 60, 66 and 74, respectively. We knew them when they were young.

At least they can do multiple takes in those commercials until they get it right. Coaches would love do-overs. You’d like to think senators would, too, but that may be a stretch.

This isn’t to go all ageist. That’s for nitwits and half-wits. If you’ve still got it, you’ve still got it.

Carol Burnett, 89, was terrific in this year’s final season of “Better Call Saul.” Two years ago, Anthony Hopkins won the Best Actor Academy Award at 83. Judi Dench was nominated for Best Supporting Actress this year at 87.

But actors aren’t making decisions that affect people and the country. Which is good, because you might not want Will Smith near the nuclear football when he was in one of his slapping moods.

Anyway, don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re too old to do anything. Unless you are. Then consider taking acting classes.

Comments: (319) 398-8440; mike.hlas@thegazette.com