Feeling stressed? Talk to a trusted adult about your feelings

CEDAR RAPIDS — Learning something new in class, working on homework or meeting new friends can sometimes make us feel stressed.

But stress isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can be a positive boost to help you rise to a challenge or meet a goal and can build resilience or toughness.

Maggie Hartzler, director of clinical services at Tanager Place, has some advice on how to handle stress and when to talk to an adult about it.

Tanager Place offers programs that focus on prevention, treatment, and outreach and serve over 4,000 children, teens, and young adults each year.

"For kids, it feels like doing well in school is a way of being successful,“ Hartzler said. ”One thing to know is everybody has different talents, strengths and skills. There might be things that are harder for you than other kids, and things that are easier for you, and that’s just part of being human.“

If you feel stressed, talk to a trusted adult or friend, Hartzler said. “Kids are learning how to handle hard stuff, just like learning to read or do math,” she said. “We don’t learn how to manage all of our problems without people helping teach us that.”

Everyone — kids included — want to feel connected to other people and make friends. “When we’re at school, we want to find people to spend time with who we enjoy and who enjoy us,” Hartzler said. “All of that is normal and healthy.”

It can be kind of scary to make a new friend, Hartzler said. There’s a fear of being rejected or laughed at. One way to start to build a connection with someone else is by doing a kind act, she said.

“Everyone needs kindness,” Hartzler said. “Hold a door open, pick up something they dropped. You can start building connections by doing one kind act for someone else.”

School also has a lot of rules to follow that our bodies don’t always “jive” with, Hartzler said, such as sitting still in class and waiting until lunch to eat.

“It’s important for kids to know and understand their bodies have needs and there are ways to get those met,” Hartzler said.

If you’re having a hard time sitting still, for example, as a teacher if you can take a quick walk down the hallway to get out some of that energy, Hartzler said. There are ways to meet your body’s needs and still follow school rules, she said.

Kids: What advice do you have to overcoming school jitters or making friends? Your answer could be featured in our next Kids Gazette. Email us at grace.king@thegazette.com.

Comments: (319) 398-8411; grace.king@thegazette.com