What's Comforting Us?

We're in the middle of hard times, folks.

And apparently it's turned us into a bunch of foul-mouthed, tooth-decayed, sinful, over-stressed NPR listeners.

Don't believe me. The news says so. The top 5 things comforting us:

1. Swearing. Cedar Rapidians say they're swearing more to blow off stress. No (beep)? I'd have never guessed.

2. Candy.  The New York Times fronts news this morning that candy makers, at least those that make cheap, nostalgic stuff, are thriving. Buy Weight Watcher's stock, now. Or go to dental school.

3. Indulgences. The Minneapolis Star-Tribune reports that the Roman Catholic Church is going back to its roots, reviving a Middle Ages rite allowing the faithful to soften punishments for sin. What would Martin Luther think?

4. National Public Radio. The Washington Post reports that while the rest of the media is tanking, NPR has record ratings. Its smooth, thoughtful and soulful tone really is a comforting way to learn the painful details of our national decline.

5. Play time. USA Today talks with author Stuart Brown, who says stressed-out adults don't set enough time aside for play. If we did, we'd be healthier and happier. Oh, yeah, and unemployed. Sorry, it's the stress talking.

That's it. Freeze tag in Greene Square Park. You're it.