Cavaliers now lack two things: LeBron and sanity

I will make you a guarantee. Namely, I guarantee the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers has given you a worthless guarantee.

The best thing to come out of the LeBron-A-Thon happened after LeBron James announced he was moving from Cleveland to Miami. Cavs owner Dan Gilbert got on the team's Web site and promptly portrayed himself as an owner far crazier than Cleveland native George Steinbrenner had ever been.

Gilbert wrote this, among other firebombs:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING' WINS ONE"

Which is interesting, since you need at least two superstars  to win an NBA crown, and Gilbert just went from one to none.

Gilbert and his organization couldn't figure out how to surround James with the coach and teammates needed to bust out of the Eastern Conference, they couldn't figure out how to keep James happy enough to stay in his home area, and now they're going to craft a champion out of spare parts?

That's like Kim Jong-il vowing North Korea will win the 2014 World Cup. Which, come to think of it, is something he'll probably do any day now.

Can't you just hear all the NBA stars who will be free agents in years to come? "Wow, that Dan Gilbert is committed to winning. He sure isn't the kind of guy to trash the player who fell in his lap seven years ago and made his franchise suddenly relevant."

Plus, it's Cleveland. Since when do young, gifted professional athletes have any reason to migrate to Los Angeles or Miami when they can spend their winters working on the shore of Lake Erie?

"The Decision" was awkward, poorly-handled, and just plain bad. It was, as Gilbert said in his open letter to Cavs fans, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up. Mostly, it was just dull.

But what was Gilbert's reply? Bitter, spiteful, delusional nonsense?

Or maybe he was just auditioning for a job as a cable TV political commentator.