A few new, useful, laws for the books

Obamacare.

You'll be glad to know that's not what this column is about.

Nope, it's time to talk about the real

congressional issues that need to be addressed:

Napkin reform.

Nine napkins for one cup of coffee are too many. One napkin for a kiddie cone is nine too few. Why can't Congress mandate extra napkins at any establishment serving meltable food to meltdown-able kids (and parents)?

Coin sandwiches.

You have just made a purchase. The cashier hands you back - in this order - your dollars, your coins in a little tower, your receipt.

You now are in possession of a coin sandwich, which can be either shoved awkwardly into a pocket (some dimes will plummet) or placed back on the counter - along with your purchases - and meticulously reconfigured to fit into a billfold and change purse.

Honorable congressfolk, why not consider legislating a configuration of dollars and receipt on the bottom, coins on top? The cents you save might be your own.

Crosswalks are for the walking.

Hard as it is for most drivers to believe, pedestrians are people, too.

In fact, they are people not encased in two tons of metal, which means that when they are crossing the street with the light, they stand a good chance of being flattened like a delicious panino by drivers intent on turning, no matter who or what is in their way.

Non-compliant conversationalists.

A conversation is defined as two people chatting back and forth. Then there are the conversations that consist of the other person's telling you absolutely everything, down to how many Rice Krispies he left in his bowl at breakfast. Let's outlaw these non-versationalists.

And I've got plenty more suggestions, anytime our legislators are looking for a real issue.

' Lenore Skenazy is a syndicated columnist distributed by Creators. Contact: lskenazy@yahoo.com