ChetChase 2010 - The Week

Iowa's race for governor, and it's not over until we decide it is.

All is Well! -- Political journos across Iowa were forced this week to write about IPERS, the Iowa Public Employees Retirement System. Several tried to get out of it by scheduling root canals, but no luck.

At least the numbers are big and bold and scary.

It turns out IPERS leaked about $5 billion during the last fiscal year while Wall Street laid an egg.  A market rebound in recent months has erased some of that loss, but the hole is still pretty large, even by today's much higher financial hole standards.

What to do, what to do. Surely Gov. Chet Culver will know:

“There's no need for alarm,” Culver says. “We've already taken some steps, legislatively, to give IPERS a little more flexibility in terms of some additional investments and I doubt that we'll have to do anything next (legislative) session other than to hope that we continue to have economic recovery.”

All is well! Sort of! But how's Culver's patented serenity prayer system of budget management striking his would-be Republican challengers?

Bob Vander Plaats?

“This latest episode is just more evidence that Chet Culver doesn't know what's important or even what's going on around him. He has poor leadership instincts. He's like Alfred E. Neuman, the little character from Mad magazine who's perpetually saying, ‘What, me worry?' Maybe Chet Culver is not worried but the people who are relying on IPERS for their retirement and the people who are funding it sure are. Chet Culver is part of the problem when more than ever we need a governor who is part of the solution.”

You, sir, just called the governor of a soveriegn state a comatose cartoon character. This shall not stand.

Republican candidate for governor Christian Fong beat everybody with his four-point IPERS plan. Fong-smitten blogger Krusty Konservative loved it so much he endorsed Fong. Uh, for state treasurer. Ouch.

Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal, D-Council Bluffs, stepped in to say lawmakers will indeed take up the issue in January. Schedule those root canals accordingly.

Radio Pitched the Retro R Star -- Iowans seeking to draft Terry Branstad as a candidate for governor launched a radio ad this week.

Radio was very big in the 80s and 90s. It played that roack and roll, etc. I heard a rumor (fake) that Branstad backers also commissioned AC/DC to write a new retro rock theme song for Branstad's run. I just happen to have an extra-secret sampling of the lyrics (To the tune of Back in Black):

"Branstad's Back...He's on Track...Been too long... He's glad to be back

"Yes he's cut loose...From DMU...That's kept him hangin' around

"We keep hopin' for our guy....Cause' his polls are so high...Forget the Chet, we'll be runnin' by

He wants five tries...Stripped ties...He'll be cuttin' all the ribbons up and runnin' wild..'Cause he's back...Yes he's back...'Cause he's back...Branstad's Back..."

Catchy.

The Sioux City Journal's Bret Hayworth did some retro writing of his own and looked back at the nasty primary fight between Branstad and U.S. Rep. Fred Grandy in 1994. Good stuff.

Rod Roberts' Raises Riches -- Republican hopeful Rod Roberts, a state representative from Carroll, raised a healthy $50,000 at a campaign kick-off fun- raiser.

I asked Roberts the other night at a Delaware County GOP dinner whether his campaign might get lost in the shuffle with all the sharp elbows already being thrown and Branstad's potential entry.

“Leadership is a combination of temperament, demeanor, personality traits, but also inner qualities of knowing what you are and what you believe in," Roberts said. “I don't know if having a sharp tongue and being engaged in personal attacks necessarily equates to being a superior candidate or a better candidate."

Sounds very reasonable. What's this guy doing in politics?