Column -- Understanding mental illness

I got a lot of thank-you notes this week for Saturday's column talking with Gene Kehoe.

People who said it helped them finally understand how the Coralville man could stand by his wife, Michelle, after she'd killed one son, harmed another and herself; that it shed a little more light on her mental illness.

“I don't think anybody knows how hard it is,” said one woman, who said she struggles with bipolar disorder. “How hard it is to keep yourself safe.”

It's that much harder when your family abandons you, she said. When the people you look to for guidance don't understand, either (said her minister once told her she was full of sin, not sick).

Advocates will tell you how shockingly common these myths are: that mental illness isn't real, that it's caused by weakness or lack of character. That it's shameful, different from any other medical condition.

No wonder so many families, so many individuals living with mental illness, feel so very alone.

But they aren't.

One American in four will experience some kind of mental health disorder in any given year, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. About 6 percent of the people in this country live with a serious mental illness like major depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, post traumatic stress or borderline personality disorders. Most can manage their symptoms through medication, therapy, diet, exercise and support.

But not enough of us understand these common conditions - or even want to. That much was evident in some other reader reactions to Saturday's column - like the ones calling Gene Kehoe delusional for seeing his wife as anything but a “coldblooded killer”.

But the delusion in this case is in the eye of the beholder.

There's a difference between saying that Michelle Kehoe's mental illness played a role in her crime and saying it excuses what she did, or that her crimes somehow weren't terrible. Michelle's family told me they hope that speaking frankly about her struggles will help other families avoid similar tragedies.

“If breaking our silence can help anybody else - so that there doesn't have to be another Sean or Seth Kehoe - it's worth it,” Michelle's cousin Deb Smith said.

Mental illnesses affect individuals and families of all stripes. When symptoms go untreated, the consequences can be disastrous.

But with treatment and support, even severe mental illnesses don't have to be a life sentence.

n Jennifer Hemmingsen's column appears on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Contact the writer at (319) 339-3154 or jennifer.hemmingsen@gazcomm.com