ChetChase 2010 - The Week, The Poll

Iowa's race for governor, served piping hot with your choice of toppings.

1. Lugginator 4 - Judgment Day -- California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger took a cheap shot at Iowa this week.

He bragged Wednesday to a conference, evidently the National Organization of Stupid Generalizers,  that, unlike sunny Caly, no on ever screams "I can't wait to get to Iowa." Oh, and Florida is only known for old people etc. He was just about to really zing North Dakota when he ran out of time.

This, from a guy whose job approval ratings are in the tweens.

Clearly, Arnold has never been on the six-hour road trip to my in-in laws. I scream "I can't wait to get to Iowa" at least 14 times.

He slighted us.  We became mildly offended. It happens.

And Gov. Chet Culver no likee.

First, his staff issued a strong statement: “I'm disappointed Governor Schwarzenegger made the mistake of insulting our wonderful state and the hard working people who make it such a great place to live, work, and vacation.”

Yeah, and we got a AAA bond rating, too, you old Austrian punk. Anyone who was in "Collateral Damage" or "Jingle All the Way" ought to be an expert on stuff people don't want to see.

Then, on Thursday, Culver threw down the gauntlet in a brief interview with WQAD.

Don't worry. He always chuckles just before he opens the can of Lugstruction.

So it's Chet "All Natural" Culver vs. Arnold "Substances" Schwarzenegger. Pay-per-view. Can you say "general fund revenue?"

If they do fight, I hope Culver keeps his shirt on. Otherwise, the governor's staff will threaten to deport anyone who posts a photo.

2. Pizza Pivot --Republican candidate Bob Vander Plaats was all gay marriage this, gay marriage that, for the longest time, but now he's totally focused like a laser on jobs and the economy.

"Iowa needs a governor who is finally going to control the ridiculous level of state government spending -- and that's exactly what I'll do," Vander Plaats said in a news release. "I have some ideas about how to make that happen, including creating a fair tax structure for all businesses by ending the way government currently tries to pick winners and losers."

Vander Plaats took this message on the trail, where he's making appearances exclusively at Pizza Ranch restaurants. Evidently a high school pal owns the chain. That's one reason he picked those locations.

So Pizza Ranch is a winner, I guess.

Anyway, Vander Plaats says we need to slash spending and stop coddling unions and quit paying government types so much scarce scratch.

"I think the consensus today is that too many people in the private sector want to get into the government sector for better wages, better benefits, better security."

Yeah, just like this northwest Iowa business consultant I know who wanted a state job so much he ran for governor three times.

Clearly, there are scores of guys out at Rockwell Collins who are simply dying to become junior high math teachers. And hurry, get me out of this big fancy law firm so I can finally be a public defender. And I would so much rather be driving a snow plow at 4 a.m. on an ice-glazed  interstate than writing this darn hard bloggy column stuff.

Sure, there are public employees who make too much and do too little. Why you tax-eating, shovel-leaners...

But private sector wages have stagnated for multiple reasons. Blaming it all on government workers is simplistic fake-onomics. And there is absolutely no room for that in politics. Hyperbole, half-truths and vitriol are already taking up all the seats in the arena.

Still, they keep asking about marriage. Vander Plaats has to answer. Sigh.

Vander Plaats has promised to sign an executive order on his first day in office to stay the state Supreme Court's 2009 same-sex marriage ruling until Iowans are allowed to vote on the issue. He told the audience he thinks he can win that argument.

“The governor is the CEO and chief magistrate ... and ... can tell the courts when they go beyond their boundaries,” he said. “I think this will be a great civics lesson. We will use the (Iowa) Constitution to back us up.”

And...generalissimo...Yeah, it will be totally like that time in civics class when we talked about  tinpot dictators who think they can just roll the judiciary every time they disagree with a ruling.

3.  The Poll - Sports Betting -- A bill that would allow Iowa casinos to take bets on pro sports actually passed a Senate committee this past week. It wouldn't happen unless Congress allows it, and Gov. Chet Culver doesn't seem all that excited. I'm betting it doesn't pass, but who knows?

What do you think?

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