A Legislative Quiz

The opening weeks of the legislative session have been a hoot. Are you paying attention? Here's a quiz.

1. Rep. Clel Baudler wrote an email to supporters last fall detailing how he went to California and faked a case of hemorrhoids so he could ...

A. Expose the ease of scoring medical marijuana as a cautionary tale for Iowa.

B. Break a California law aimed at people who lie about a medical condition to get pot.

C. To create buzz for his network TV pilot “Baudler, P.I. - Send the Bad Guys Straight to Clel.”

D. Put some zing into his GOP victory party brownies.

E. Both A and, possibly, B.

2. During an early morning debate, Republicans seeking to take civil rights away from thousands of Iowans complained that their senatorial rights were being trampled. What did they have for breakfast?

A. Oatmeal, fortified with irony.

B. Hypogrits.

C. It's anyone's guess.

D. Rancor Bran

3. When Democrats heard Republicans were cutting funds for preschool programs, they ...

A. Expressed strong reservations.

B. Threw blocks.

C. Refused to cooperate or share.

D. Needed a nap.

4. Under a bill passed by the House, Iowa voters must show what at the polls?

A. A valid photo ID.

B. An elephant lapel pin.

C. Barack Obama's birth certificate.

D. An official Tea Party decoder ring.

5. Gov. Terry Branstad is floating a big casino tax increase to pay for business tax cuts. What will be offered to casinos to sweeten the deal?

A. Sports book, just in time for March Madness.

B. Sanctioned bouts with gladiators in mortal combat

C. Legal pot smoking on the casino floor.

D. It's too soon to tell.

E. State-subsidized buffet shrimp

6. Republicans want to slash bucks for state university sabbatical studies, except ...

A. “The Feasibility of Relocating Liberals to Greenland.”

B. “Cute, Cuddly Animals Thrive --Thanks to Fossil Fuels.”

C. “No Constitution For You - The Wisdom of Antonin Scalia.”

D. “Gay Marriage and Killer Twisters - A Connection.”

E. Those with a clear, demonstrable value to Iowa.

7. Sen. Mark Chelgren, R-Ottumwa, insisted during floor debate that legislative committees aren't mentioned in the constitution, so requiring bills to clear committees before full senate debate must be unconstitutional. What other things that lawmakers use aren't mentioned?

A. An ornate Senate chamber

B. Desks with comfy chairs.

C. Microphones to amplify their wisdom.

D. Laptops, clerks. reserved parking spots, pages to run their errands ...

B. All of the above.

8. Gov. Branstad is reluctant to allow the public to view his interviews with nine Iowa Supreme Court nominees. What is a reason he gave for keeping the sessions private?

A. He asks questions about any potential problems in their background that might be embarassing if publicly disclosed.

B. He doesn't want us to know that he bases the whole thing on a high-stakes checkers tournament.

C. Strong language and adult situations.

D. The pay-per-view deal for "Judicial Cage Match I - Nine go in, but only three Come out!" fell through at the last minute. 

Answers: E, C, A, A, D, E, B, A