The Ro*Tel Ratings

My colleague M. Hlas really dislikes the "Big Ten Power Ratings" type of posts. So, let's switch it around and go with something that says Big Ten more than the fullback position (though, after watching the Denard Robinson highlights, this bit has a short shelf life). Let's go with Ro*Tel, which has put one Big Ten Network ad sales rep in a shiny new Cadillac, has earned another one steak knives and has gotten another 86'd. (Glengarry Glen Ross reference).

The Ro*Tel Ratings are here. We will track the vibe of Big Ten football teams and contemplate the genius of diced tomatoes and green chilies.

1. Wisconsin (2-0)

What is Ro*Tel without a little cheese? Quarterback Russell Wilson threw three TD passes. And I'm sure State Street had a little fun with Oregon State's nickname during a 35-0 victory.

Next: vs. Northern Illinois

2. Ohio State (2-0)

I wonder if Buckeye fans grumble when their team shows up, grunts and wins by five, as it did over Toledo. Ohio State is still Ohio State until it isn't Ohio State.

Next: At Miami (Fla)

3. Nebraska (2-0)

The Pelini Brothers watched as their defense allowed 444 yards to Fresno State. The Pelini Brothers carry three episodes of the upcoming season of "Boardwalk Empire."

Next: vs. Washington

4. Michigan State (2-0)

Better showing this week for Sparty. Then again, Florida Atlantic is as much a cruise ship as it is a challenge for a Big Ten football team.

Next: At Notre Dame

5. Michigan (2-0)

I got home in time Saturday night to see Denard Robinson's sit-down interview with Chris Fowler in a lit-up Michigan Stadium. The students still might be there. Electrifying. No, these aren't the gold-standard editions for these schools, but still, electrifying.

Next: vs. Eastern Michigan

6. Illinois (2-0)

The 364 rushing yards gets my attention. The South Dakota State doesn't. The Illini host Arizona State this week. To paraphrase the opening to MTV's "The Real World," This is the true story ... of two college football teams ... picked to play in a stadium ...block and tackle and have their lives taped... to find out what happens... when people stop being polite... and start getting real.

Next: vs. Arizona State

7. Northwestern (2-0)

Perhaps Northwestern overplayed its hand with the "PersaStrong" Heisman campaign, but still, two weeks in and the Cats are undefeated without PersaStrong. ColterStrong?

Next: At Army

8. Iowa (1-1)

Don't lose sight of the concept that perhaps Kirk Ferentz and the Hawkeyes take this in stride as part of the team's development over the entire season, which extends beyond two weeks and pretty much always has.

Next: vs. Pittsburgh

9. Penn State (1-1)

You know the old saying. If you have two quarterbacks, you don't really have any. Penn State plays two, but it didn't have two against the Crimson Tide. That said, Nick Saban's defense is marauding.

Next: At Temple

10. Purdue (1-1)

Sometimes, teams have to learn how to win. Purdue has that written on that little white pad on the forehead of its helmets.

Next: vs. Southeast Missouri State

11. Minnesota (0-2)

Let's just send good thoughts to UM coach Jerry Kill. Be well, sir.

Next: vs. Miami (Ohio)

12. Indiana (0-2)

This should be covered with a sheet like a museum exhibit that isn't quite ready for the public.

Next: vs. South Carolina State