Cassill eager to shed underdog label

KANSAS CITY, Kan. - If you noticed a different vibe from Landon Cassill the last few weeks, you were right.

The 25 year-old Cedar Rapids native still is the same dude in an overall sense; still the same workout fanatic who is on a bicycle, in a pool or on a run when he's not in a racecar. He's still the same Hillman Racing driver who is all-in on the growth of his No. 40 team.

But the frustration of not getting finishes to match up with the improved performance of his team came to a head after Talladega last weekend. Cassill had a legitimate contender underneath him, but the big wreck ended those chances. He did live television interviews, got shouts-out from Darrell Waltrip and other national media members, but rather than prop him up and ease the pain of missing out on a solid run, it had the opposite effect.

He said he struggled with managing those emotions in the days after and into the race weekend at Kansas Speedway on Friday and Saturday.

'It's really weird that I've had this battle emotionally, has been in our success - especially in the last four or five weeks where we've been so fast a Bristol, so fast at Richmond and ran good; got lots of exposure, finished top 10 in the Xfinity car, ran in the top 10 at Talladega and got tons of support and love from social media and the media - as much as I love that, and I don't want this to come out the wrong way, I was kind of put off by all of it,” Cassill said. 'I'm so tired of being the underdog. It's cool to be the underdog, but I kind of left Talladega angry and tired of being patted on the back. I don't care about being the underdog. I want to win. I wanted to win that race. I didn't want to leave Talladega and have people say, ‘Man you did so good. I can't believe what you did in that car.'”

When Cassill hears those kinds of compliments - 'You do so much with so little,” etc. - he struggles with how to respond.

He sees the work his team does behind the scenes to get cars ready to race, and they all know already they don't have what the big teams do. So when the underdog moniker - certainly one put forth in this space on several occasions - gets hammered home, he wants to buck that as hard as he can.

Those feelings, he said, don't take away anything from how much it means to have such support from fans or his peers, but hopes the light at the end of the underdog tunnel is coming soon.

'This team works their ass off. They don't deserve to be told, and sometimes I'm embarrassed when somebody gives me a compliment that's more of a backhand to my team,” Cassill said. 'These guys work seven days a week on my car and build the best possible car they can build.

'For some reason, the last couple weeks, I've been tired of being patted on the back. I'd rather have wrecked Dale Jr. to win and get the trophy and ride out of there out the sunroof of my Camaro with my middle fingers in the air and have beer bottles thrown at me, you know?”

Cassill said it's likely all those feelings were an emotional overflow after 'being so close to tasting it at Talladega.” He's not getting impatient with his team or mad about finishing poorly in a non-constructive sort of way.

His team's '#ConstantGrowth” hashtag and moniker has extended into expecting more. Within the shop doors of Hillman Racing, they know what's different and what's improved. ECR engines, a few RCR chassis and an improved pit crew, to name a few. Being disappointed with just running well and being mentioned with the big-name guys is indicative of where they're at.

Frustration has boiled over a few times this season over the radio and elsewhere, and even if it's because he and the team expect more, he's never proud of a meltdown. He said his parents raised him to keep his cool and be as levelheaded as possible when dealing with any situation.

'If I get angry on the radio I'm never proud of it and usually regret it. And I think a lot of that has to do with the ability to hold it in and to bite my tongue sometimes, just because it's not constructive,” Cassill said. 'And whenever I do it, it never works out for me. If you hear me do it, it's because I made a mistake. It's not something I try to turn into something sexy - ‘Oh I was just so mad I had to'.

'There's a lot of guys out there who have meltdowns on the radio or in the media, but they would stand up for that. And they're dead wrong. There's no room for that. I'm not going to be perfect the rest of my career, but trust me I know, when I do it, I'm ashamed of myself by the time I get home.”

Though it's easy to get caught up in the emotional spectrum he's gone through this season, Cassill does try his best to take stock of what he has and where he's at.

At 25, he's about to be a father for the second time - his wife Kaitlin is due with their baby May 31 - and is in a unique position of having extended experience at the Cup level but still many years ahead to achieve all he wants to achieve.

Doing that makes weekends like at Kansas Speedway this weekend - where he qualified 41st and ran in the mid-30s most of the night - bearable and worth it.

'I do step back and realize how truly blessed I am and how happy I am to be where I'm at,” Cassill said. 'I definitely think a lot about how important it is to continue to make a living at this. I think it's no secret I'm 25 but I'm still - and not in my own words, but in the words of motorsports statistician David Smith - I'm still eight years away from my statistical prime in terms of a racecar driver. As long as I can stay around, I've got plenty of time.”

l Comments: (319) 368-8884; jeremiah.davis@thegazette.com