I've Got Big Brown Fever ...

... and the only prescription is more cowbell.

OK, that doesn't really make any sense, but Christopher Walken is the funniest guest host in Saturday Night Live history.

Meanwhile, it's less than six hours until the Belmont Stakes as I write this. Big Brown is that close to becoming heroic or tragic. I'm a little nervous. I've got two bucks on Big Brown to show.

The last time a horse was within a Belmont Stakes win of the Triple Crown was 2004. Smarty Jones was beating down the door of history with all four hooves. I'll never forget it. My family and I had just gotten to New York City. It was their first trip to that city. It was raining. And in our first hours in town, I made them waste time standing outside an Off Track Betting parlor in the rain so I could see if Smarty won the big race, which was just a long cab ride away from Manhattan.

Smarty lost, we proceeded to Times Square to have a good time, and before the trip was over I said hello to actress Lainie Kazan, who is in Adam Sandler's new movie "You Don't Mess With the Zohan."

 Lainie seemed nervous when I approached her standing in line outside Radio City Music Hall, waiting to enter the great theater for the Tony Awards. I just figured it was because I was a stranger, not because I was perceived as a lunatic. It couldn't possibly have been that. But she found out what so many have learned: I'm a very nice person. Heh heh.

To repay Lainie for the mild scare, I'll try to send some hits to her Web site. The link:

http://www.lainiekazan.com