You aren't in Iowa anymore, Hawkeyes -- as your hotel and Lady Gaga attest

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. - Whatever your last hotel, the one Iowa's football team is inhabiting is almost surely bigger.

Also, it's probably posher, louder, more expensive and more flamboyant.

"The lobby at night is like a nightclub," said Hawkeyes defensive coordinator Norm Parker.

This isn't a road game in East Lansing or West Lafayette, dah-lings. This is the Orange Bowl, and this is the

Fontainebleau Miami Beach.

It's 1,504 rooms on 22 acres of oceanfront property, with four towers, 11 restaurants and lounges, a fabulous 40,000-square-foot health spa, 10 swimming pools, and hordes of guests from around the globe.

It is an eye-catching place, architecturally and aesthetically. The three Belgian chandeliers in the lobby cost over $1 million apiece. They're something to behold, like the entire resort.

"It's very stage-like, very performance-like, very theatrical," said Mabel De Beunza, the Fontainebleau's director of public relations.

Tonight, the New Year's Eve concert of the year anywhere in the world - to hear some tell it down here - is Lady Gaga's poolside performance at LIV Miami in the Fontainebleau.

Lady Gaga's career is hotter than South Beach in August. It's safe to say she won't be playing any Iowa venues in 2010.

If any Hawkeye players attend Ms. Gaga's concert, they must have formed friendships with local VIPs since they arrived Sunday night. The cheapest tickets had originally been $375, and the sold-out event has produced a scalpers' pre-New Year's holiday.

Stars from sports and entertainment routinely stay here. And the occasional faded star.

"Dennis Rodman was here last night," Iowa trainer/travel coordinator John Streif said here Wednesday. "Some of the guys on the team ran into him in the lobby last night."

Does this sound like an Iowa place? Heck, no. The Hawkyes had the hotel assigned to them by the Orange Bowl. But no one in

 the team's camp seems to be complaining. Not even the grizzled defensive coordinator.

Parker soaked in some sun outside the hotel Wednesday while waiting to board a team bus to practice. He gazed at the harbor across the street from the Fontainebleau, admiring an expensive boat he said he'd like to take to Michigan.

"It's fantastic," Parker said about his hotel.

"I was worried about the size and magnificence of it," Streif said, "but they've done a fantastic job. It's been magnificent, first-class all the way. I think our young people have enjoyed it."

Anyone with a sense of pop-culture history would probably like it, too. In the 1950s and 1960s, this hotel was one of America's most-famous intersection of Rich and Famous.

"You couldn't swing a martini glass without hitting the Rat Pack, Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley," said De Beunza.

Scenes from the James Bond movie "Goldfinger" were filmed here. National political conventions were held here. Suites are named for President John Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe.

The property was sold for $500 million. Another half-billion was spent redeveloping it, and it reopened 13 months ago with a Victoria's Secret fashion show helping to usher in the new-look Fontainbleau.

The hotel hosted football teams for the first time last year in Orange Bowl participant Cincinnati and BCS title-game contestant Oklahoma. The teams take a small fraction of the hotel's rooms, but a large percentage of something else.

"They definitely take a lot of food. Massive amounts of food. Huge buffets," said Darin Riggio, a catering and convention services manager at the Fontainebleau and the hotel's liaison to the Hawkeyes during their 10-night stay.

On Expedia Wednesday afternoon, a best-rate, double-occupancy room for the nights of Jan 3-5 was listed at an average of $409 per night. That amount may vary from Web travel site to site. Sources say Iowa's share of the cost is a little more than half that amount, with the Orange Bowl Committee picking up the rest.

Riggio said Iowa's party had 188 rooms in use Wednesday night, and will use a total of 2,244 room-nights by the end of their stay.

That's a lot of room-nights. And a lot of buffets.