Trophy debate continues in youth sports

Editor's note: Nancy Justis, a former competitive swimmer, is a partner with Justis Creative Communications.

By Nancy Justis, correspondent

It seems HBO's 'Real Sports” has opened another debate on an issue in youth sports.

On July 22, the program aired a segment on the possible ramifications of the 'trophy culture” in youth sports.

On the program, Bernard Goldberg spoke with San Diego State University psychology professor Jean Twenge about awarding trophies to all participants and how this could have unforeseen consequences.

As reported in a Schooled in Sports blog by Bryan Toporek, Twenge said, 'This isn't even a trophy for effort or trying. It's a trophy for participation. It sets the bar pretty low. A trophy puts in (the child's) head that whatever (he/she) did was good enough, even when it clearly wasn't. That's not how the real world works.”

Goldberg went on to trace the 'trophy culture” to the self-esteem movement. Ashley Merryman has written about that movement and told Goldberg 'we thought that especially for kids in struggling communities, if we just told them they were great, they would believe it and then they could achieve, because they were certain they were great.”

She fears handing everyone a trophy, win or lose, will cause kids not to 'be engaged in the process of improving” and in later years, when they struggle or fail, they may place the blame elsewhere rather than taking responsibility for themselves.

Toporek also quotes C. Robert Cloninger, a doctor at Washington University.

'The technical term is the ‘partial-reinforcement extinction effect' ... if you constantly reward a kid, you spoil them and you don't build a capacity for them to be resilient to frustration ... We have to get over the notion that everyone has to be a winner in the United States.”

I don't know about you, but now I am really confused. We want our kids to feel good about themselves. We want to help them build self-confidence. So how do we know when we've gone too far in the praise category, or not far enough? No one said raising children was going to be easy.

Lisa Lagrou wrote in a 'CLICK ON DETROIT” blog about her son's and daughter's experiences with this issue. Her daughter (age 7) thoroughly enjoyed her soccer season. Though no scores were kept, everyone nonetheless knew the team won only one game. After the last game of the season, when they got blown out by the best team in the league, both teams went to their respective sidelines, where both teams received trophies.

'I felt it strange,” she wrote. 'I felt a little sorry for the winning team. When I was little the best team received the trophy and the losing team may have received a participation award and was instilled with a message of trying harder next time in order to achieve the trophy. How is a trophy even special any more if everyone receives the same one?”

She went on to say her nine-year-old's flag football team league did the same thing - handing a trophy out to each participant.

'The whole trophy situation in youth sports doesn't reflect real life,” she said. 'Everyone doesn't get one. Trophies and awards are meant for the ones who achieve and go above and beyond.

'My daughter worked really hard on her soccer skills and she had fun the entire season ... Someday the time will come where she's in a situation where second-place (or any place other than first place) means ‘nice try' or better luck next year.”

On the pro side of the debate in an 'Outside the Lines” article: 'There are going to be plenty of times in the future where things don't work out, so why not celebrate the small victories now? It makes kids feel good like they were part of a team, even if they weren't the superstar player. This can help build up their confidence. Trophies and medals are a way of telling them good job.”

UPDATE

In my last column, I wrote about the cost of youth sports - the gear, the fees, the travel expenses.

Randy Bates in Lincoln, Neb., wrote, in part, 'Families are spending great amounts of dollars on their children's athletic pursuits, or their own. Hard to distinguish, at times. Some coaches and athletic organizations are getting rich from all of this ... The result of all of this seems to be an elite culture of athletes who come from families who can or cannot afford to provide whatever the cost might be for their children to progress to the highest level ... Major League Baseball in just the last few years has begun to support inner city youth baseball, but they have many years to make up.

'There are so many things absolutely wrong with our youth sport culture in our country, it is somewhat depressing to look at. Thankfully, there are those like you who are trying to educate parents and coaches as to what youth sports should be about. God bless your efforts and keep on keeping on!”

l Let us know what you think by contacting Justis at njustis@cfu.net