Child abuse is preventable

Ronald Reagan designated April as Child Abuse Prevention Month in 1983. A marque I saw at a Cedar Rapids funeral home says April is also Sexual Assault Awareness month. I am frustrated by all the various forms of suffering (abuse, cancer, suicide, Alzheimer’s, heart disease) being relegated to a colored ribbon, or a blue pinwheel or an isolated marque, one month each year. Everyone knows all of these things matter 365 days a year, right?

I am a mental health counselor with 30 years of experience serving hundreds of people of all ages and all walks of life. That means that I am front and center as a witness to the impact of child abuse and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) across the life span.

There are many days when I can’t tell whether everyone does know child abuse prevention matters. In fact, I wonder if the average citizen believes that child abuse is even preventable. To the doubters, I feel a drive to send a resounding YES, child abuse is preventable. We have abundant knowledge through the efforts of many researchers and professionals who have established the factors that lower risks for child abuse and neglect.

The factors for prevention turn out to be common sense and very ordinary human experiences. Having basic needs met (housing and food), having caretakers with accurate and healthy parenting skills so they can bond with their child, caretakers having the ability to manage their own stress and mental health (foundations of resilience), and having connection and belonging to the larger community.

Managing stress all by oneself isn’t sufficient for coping with modern life. Families who attempt to manage their traumas, adversities and shame won’t dig out by keeping the family secrets. This silence born of shame keeps cycles of abuse and neglect moving through each generation. Preventing child abuse goes hand in hand with breaking down stigma against domestic violence, sexual assault, addiction, mental illness and incarceration. Since these are wide spread experiences that cut across racial, geographic and socio-economic status, everyone has some kind of connection to this suffering.

If you have seen blue pinwheels spinning in the breeze during the month of April, I encourage you to contemplate how you already play a role in helping kids and caretakers to thrive. This could translate into supporting a single mom by providing a ride or a trip to the park to help chaperone the kids. It could translate into donating funds to HACAP’s food reservoir. Or talking openly about your challenges with depression to a family member who fears the stigma of seeking help.

Perhaps you can find ways to intentionally breakdown the cycles of trauma, stigma, and shame, one person at a time. For resources visit: pcaiowa.org

Wendy Stokesbary of Cedar Rapids is a mental health counselor.