'Bully' forum at Linn-Mar aims to unite community

The documentary film "Bully" has been in Cedar Rapids theaters for less than a week, but it's already inspiring members of the community to reassess and attack the issue of bullying schools.

About 100 people turned up for an anti-bullying panel to discuss the movie Wednesday night in the auditorium at Linn-Mar High School in Marion to hear experts discuss ways of confronting bullying and to listen to some of the voices behind the documentary.

David and Tina Long, two of the subjects interviewed in the documentary, answered audience and panel questions to kick off the event, appearing via webconference from their Murray County, Georgia, home. The Long's son, Tyler, took his own life in October 2009 after years of torment from classmates, and they have sought solace by fighting in his memory.

"We didn't have much of a direction before, but the movie has really opened a dialogue across the nation and it's given us hope that change may come," David Long said.

After the conference with the Longs ended, local experts from around the region weighed in on more fundamental questions facing the community, such as "What is the definition of bullying?" "How can the community help stop it?" and "What should I do if I suspect my son or daughter is being bullied?"

Defining bullying is a tricky issue, as every person has their own personal experience, contributing to their definition.

The legal definition is "something that negatively impacts a student's access to school services," according to Tim Monson, executive director of Iowa Safe Schools, a group established by the Iowa Civil Rights Commission to help educate schools on safety issues. He cautioned that the struggle to define and label bullying can be counterproductive.

"It's not really up to you as an adult to wonder 'Is this bullying?' but to report it and let that process take hold," he said.

Parent Jen Rowray learned this first-hand during her experiences trying to resolve a situation where one of her children was being severely bullied. The situation got so bad, her son eventually needed to be transferred to another school.

Both Rowray and Monson recommend that parents document and report any suspected bullying from its earliest stages. That way if local school officials ignore or fail to take action, there are other opportunities for the state civil rights commission or the U.S. Department of Education to investigate.

"I encourage all parents to find out what the rules are so you know the pattern to follow to get real action done," Rowray said.

Other panelists shared different strategies schools are using to confront bullying, including the Olweus system, which is used at Linn-Mar and several other area school districts.

But bullying won't be stopped until the entire community becomes involved with its destruction, said Dr. Allan Heisterkamp of the Center for Violence Prevention in Cedar Falls. Heisterkamp stressed that all adults had to learn that bullying wasn't a rite of passage they could turn a blind eye to, and that it was everyone's responsibility to encourage positive behavior and intervene to stop bullying.

"Whatever your role is in this community, take what you do and amplify it. If everyone does it, that would be a big help," he said.

The panel was moderated by Adam Carros, an editor for SourceMedia Group, which also helped sponsor the panel. SourceMedia Group is the parent company of The Gazette and KCRG-TV9.

An archive of a liveblog of this panel is included below. In the original liveblog, the names of three of the panelists, Nate Monson, Jen Rowray and Jane Balvanz, were spelled incorrectly. This has since been edited and corrected.