From the bird feeder: The latest tweets

Recently, we got a bird feeder. We're lucky I speak Bird!

Sparrow 1: This is delicious! What do you call it?

Sparrow 2: Free food.

Sparrow 1: Is there food you have to pay for?

Sparrow 2: Humans do. They go to a big house filled with tables. They talk to another human, who brings them gobs of slop they eat with long, metallic fingers.

Sparrow 1: Someone just brings them a plateful?

Sparrow 2: Yep. Covered in thick, red blood, with a side of garlic bread.

Blue Jay: I once ate garlic bread. Burped for a week.

Blue Jay's Wife: Don't remind me.

Blue Jay: What about that time you pecked a pickle?

Blue Jay's Wife: I thought it was a dead frog!

Sparrow 1: I remember that.

Sparrow 2: Guys? I'm trying to peck here.

Crow: Anyway, if we're remembering great meals, wasn't last year something? All those cicadas?

Sparrow 1: Maybe to you.

Sparrow 2: Where'd they all go?

Blue Jay: I heard Vegas.

Blue Jay's Wife: I heard they died en masse after a frenzy of crazed copulating!

All: (Pause eating.)

Sparrow 1: I heard Vegas, too.

Crow: Well, anyway. Sure is hot. Humid, too.

Sparrow 1: After a big meal like this, I just want to fly back to a branch and sleep all afternoon.

Sparrow 2: It's your turn to pick up twine and twig.

Sparrow 1: Thank you, Mary Poppins.

Blue Jay: I'm flying back now, too. You coming, my pickle-pecking pet?

Blue Jay's Wife: I just want to say 'thank you” to the human who filled the feeder first. I'm leaving her this!

Sparrow 1: Um. I'm not sure that humans understand the sentiment when we do that.

Sparrow 2: She seems to be wiping it off.

Blue Jay's Wife: No, she'll understand. I saw her taking notes. ‘Bye, lady! And next time you're at ShopRite, I like sunflower seeds the best.

Blue Jay: With pickles!

Blue Jay's Wife (flying off): You are just incorrigible.