Loved ones deserve respect, not grief

One recent day, I was an unwitting witness to the most ugly display of human emotion I have ever heard in my life. I was sitting in a restaurant eating my lunch. At the next booth were and mother and daughter having lunch.

The daughter was talking louder than most folks seated near her. She was berating her mother about everything she was or had ever done. About not knowing what was going on in the world and her own town, not reading the newspaper, eating too little, eating too often. The daughter told her to just sit there and look stupid while she took her time and ate her own lunch.

She told her she didn't think her mother had a thought in her head anymore. She didn't do anything anymore. The mother answered that she liked to go to concerts in the park. The daughter's answer was “Who would go with you.” She continued: “Dad didn't like you either because you didn't do anything.”

The mother said that she needed some money and the daughter told her no, she would not giver her any more money. She said, “I know you'll just give it to those charities.” The conversation continued, each comment more insulting than the last.

This was a lovely older woman who could have used a kind word and a big hug.

If this daughter, or any caregiver for that matter, has reached the end of her rope with an older friend or family member and can't continue to give care, find help. There are people or organizations that could help you out.

Don't give your loved one grief, especially out in public. They deserve your respect. Be glad you still have your parent here to hug or have lunch with. It's a privilege to have them with you to love.

Consider yourself hugged, Mom.

Karen Humbert

Cedar Rapids