The Big Ten needs division names for football ... so name them!

The Big Ten Conference, which moves in firm and bold ways when it is motivated to do, somehow hasn't been able to come up with two division names for football, which will be needed in September 2011.

Geographic names are pointless with the divisions not separated by north and south or east and west. Those who would suggest something like Woody and Bo divisions would be criticized by those who don't want Ohio State and Michigan get special treatment.

The names have to be distinctive, yet proper. They have to be meaningful, yet impartial.

To refresh your memory, the divisional breakdown is this:

Illinois, Indiana, Ohio State, Penn State, Purdue, Wisconsin.

Iowa, Michigan, Michigan State, Minnesota, Nebraska, Northwestern.

Adam Rittenberg of ESPN.com is trying to get his readers to come up with the perfect names at this site. The suggestions he has received as of 11:30 Thursday morning weren't very good. Let's help him out.

I'll start with suggestions to set the bar low for everyone else:

The Brave and the Bold

The Power and the Glory

The Sound and the Fury

The Lennon and the McCartney

The Venus and the Mars

The Helmet and the Pads

The Light and the Heat

The Dunder and the Mifflin

The Ogallala (western Nebraska) and the Tunkhannock (eastern Pennsylvania)

Your turn.