Event helps parents grieve pregnancy, infant loss

Lindsay Felty had just a short time with her son Liam, who was stillborn two years ago. But that doesn't mean she doesn't still mourn his loss.

To honor Liam and offer emotional support to other families going through similar tragedies, she's organizing an event for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day on Wednesday.

'For me and a lot of other parents and aunts and uncles and friends, saying our babies names and keeping their memory alive and knowing we haven't forgotten about them helps,' she said.

She and others will meet at Kava House and Cafe in Swisher Wednesday evening. They will release a paper lantern for every baby being honored. Participants will then light candles as the baby's names and messages from their loved ones are read aloud.

The day, part of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month, is commemorated globally by a 'Wave of Light,' represented by candles lit at 7 p.m. and kept burning for one hour.

Felty, who lives in Cedar Rapids and now has an 8-month-old daughter, said she hopes the event offers a chance for people to connect with others who understand what they're going through.

'It's a unique experience to have to bury your own child,' she said. 'I think a lot of people don't know what to say and are afraid of saying the wrong thing, so they don't say anything.'

She said infant and pregnancy loss is treated differently by society than the loss of an older loved one.

'Infant loss and pregnancy loss are pretty taboo to talk about,' she said. ' But it actually helps me to be able to talk about Liam and have people actually acknowledge that something happened.'

She said she want to raise awareness about how loss of a baby impacts the parents, when there are no stories to share or lives to eulogize at a funeral.

'It's hard, because with an older child, you're also grieving a life lived,' she said. 'With pregnancy and infant loss, you're grieving the hopes and dreams for that child, because you have no memory of them.'

She has reached out via Internet support groups and a Facebook page, The Wave of Light - Cedar Rapids, to invite people to the event. It is free and open to anyone who lost a baby personally or knows someone that did.

People who would like to attend are encouraged to RSVP by emailing at lindsayfelty@yahoo.com with their name, the number of people attending, the number of babies they're representing, the baby's names and a brief message about or to them.

If you go

• What: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day event
• When: 6:30 p.m. Wednesday
• Where: Kava House, 122 Second St. SE, Swisher
• More information:

  lindsayfelty@yahoo.com