More on Bruce Pearl and Steve Forbes, and Ben Jacobson is 'quoted' in The Onion

OK, let's tie this Bruce Pearl stuff in a bow. He's not coming to Iowa. Let's all say it. He's not coming to Iowa.

Here's what he told The Tennesseean, the daily newspaper of Nashville:

"I am here at Tennessee," he said. "I'm going to be at Tennessee. I'm grateful to be at Tennessee. I'm blessed to be at Tennessee.

"I hope Iowa does a great job and gets themselves a great coach."

Some Iowa fans on message boards have gotten all hot for one of Pearl's assistant coaches, Lone Tree native Steve Forbes. I don't get it myself. Maybe Forbes, who must be a fairly skilled recruiter and who works in a program that plays entertaining ball, would be a great hire.

But if Auburn can hire a head coach like UTEP's Tony Barbee, can't Iowa get someone as good and as proven as a head coach? Auburn is paying Barbee $1.5 million a year. That's probably what Iowa will pay its next head coach unless it raids the bargain bin.

This if from that Tennessean story:

Pearl suggested Iowa take a look at Vols assistant Steve Forbes "if they don't hire a head coach and hire an assistant."

Elsewhere ...

Northern Iowa ranks fourth of this year's NCAA Sweet 16 teams when it comes to graduation rates according to the latest figures. The link is here.

If you know The Onion, you know silliness and satire always follow. Here is an Onion story on mid-majors in the NCAAs, with "quotes" from UNI Coach Ben Jacobson. An excerpt:

"What people are seeing here, once they get past the excitement of a sub-upper-major team like Georgetown losing to a moderate-mid-minor like Ohio, is increased parity across the board," Northern Iowa coach Ben Jacobson said. "In the second round, everyone saw how minor mid-sub-major Cornell handled neo-mid-half-major Wisconsin. In the first, they saw how major mid-minor Xavier trounced semi-high-major Minnesota. And now they're starting to wonder exactly what to call us."