Thursday at the Masters: 10 minutes, no roars

Cover of The Cooler

AUGUSTA, Ga. -- Waiting for Zach Johnson's early-afternoon first-round at the Masters, I wandered out on the course to take in a little morning play close to the media center.

First I went up (and I mean uphill) to the 9th green, where Ross Fisher was bringing a score of 4-under-par with him. His approach shot settled 30 feet beyond the cup, and he faced a dicey downhill birdie try.

It rolled six or seven feet past the hole, and still wasn't a bad effort. But he missed the par putt.

I then went to the nearby No. 1 tee. Phil Mickleson, Jim Furyk and Camilo Villegas -- a fair amount of star power -- were getting ready to tee off.

At most tournaments, it would the introduction from the starter to the crowd would be "Now teeing off, two-time Masters champion and winner of the 2008 Dunkin Donuts Classic (or whatever else he's won), Phil Mickelson."

Here it's simply "Phil Mickelson now driving."

Mickelson then drove into a fairway bunker. So did Villegas. Furyk's tee shot landed in some straw.

The three got great applause when introduced. But the results of their shots produced nothing but murmurs, mutters, or total silence.

Furyk saved par. The other two bogeyed the hole. And I felt like William H. Macy in "The Cooler," making every player near me seven-out at the craps table.

You Zach Johnson fans out there, don't be alarmed. I was just getting it out of my system. I did see all 72 holes of his Masters win here two years ago. That cooler stuff, that's just for the movies.

Hey, it's not as if Mickelson has never hit an errant drive.