Speak out against violence

Earlier this week, a shocking video of the Ray Rice assault on his fiancee was released for public consumption and our communities responded to the horror of this violence.

This in-your-face view of domestic violence is rare, but the act is not new to our society. What is new is how our communities are now talking about domestic violence. There is no sound accompanying this video to say, 'did you hear what she SAID'. There is no music to pre-emptively prepare you for the ferocious punch. It is, indeed, a rare view - one that makes you gasp and shake your head in outrage.

Domestic Violence - abuse by an intimate partner - happens to one in four women. Last year the Domestic Violence Intervention Program served more than 1600 women, men and children. Acts of violence, like those committed in this video, happens in one in four homes every day. It was shocking to watch Mr. Rice step over his fiancee like she was an afterthought. This cannot be ignored - the feelings we as a community have about such a video must be galvanized in support of victims. #whyshestayed or #whysheleft isn't the concern - victim blaming, inadvertent or not - has no part in our community conversation. Bluntly - there is nothing in an intimate relationship that can excuse or justify the behaviors witnessed in the Ray Rice video or the behaviors our advocates hear about every day.

As a community, we can come together to change how we look at domestic violence - this video helps us understand the devastating physical nature of this crime, but more importantly it challenges us to squarely turn our sights to the cause of the problem - batterers and a social environment that must hold them accountable. We aren't innocent bystanders when the victims are our mothers, sisters, best friends, neighbors and colleagues. Talking to each other is a start - helping victims is the answer. Check out our website, www.dvipiowa.org, for ideas on how to support victims, learn more about what The Domestic Violence Intervention Program does, and opportunities to make a difference in your community.

The Domestic Violence Intervention Program offers comprehensive services for victim/survivors during their journey to fulfill their hopes for a healthy relationship - the individuals we serve are the experts in their situation and they deserve safety and dignity. Some of the ways we assist victim/survivors is through emergency sheltering, outreach services, advocacy and a 24 hour crisis line so that whether she leaves or she stays, that survivor knows there is always someone to talk to.

The Domestic Violence Intervention Program has served Iowa City and surrounding communities for over 30 years. We currently serve 8 counties in eastern and southern Iowa, while our hotline (1-800-373-1043) serves 13 counties. As funding and resources have shifted, our work has become challenging. But at the end of the day, the individuals we serve - who support each other and empower themselves on a daily basis - are the reason we continue this important mission, to speak out against intimate partner violence. For The Domestic Violence Intervention Program, the video is not new to us, but we are energized by the outrage that has come from it and how we can work collectively in support of victim/survivors. Violence in an intimate relationship is always wrong. No one deserves to live in fear in their home or anywhere else.

l Missy Forbes is Development Director for Domestic Violence Intervention Program. Comments: dvip@dvipiowa.org.