A new visit from Saint Nicholas

Twas the night before Christmas, and this was the scene

Myself and my wife were gawking at screens.

A remote in my hand, I sat mouth agape

At the fear, hate and woe in my TV landscape.

Will we all die by bombs? A germ or a gun?

No, your diet will kill you. Or maybe the sun.

Our climate is boiling! Is that Trump a Nazi?

Jihadists emboldened! It's just like Benghazi!

Everything is so nasty. Doom coats us like fog.

The gloom in the air is as thick as my nog.

For mom, in her jammies, Facebook left her cringing.

Her 'friends,” how they bicker. Her eyebrows left singing.

Obama's a fraud! And a Muslim to boot!

The right's full of nut-jobs. But hey, that cat's cute!

Just then, on the roof, there arose such a clatter

'It's ISIS!” I yelled. Nearly emptied my bladder.

Away to the window we flew like two nitwits

Our hearts, they were racing, according to Fitbits.

Turns out it's just Santa. Relief! Jubilation!

To be safe, we'll still need some identification.

Toward my shingles, like rockets, his reindeer they came.

No way my insurance will cover the claim.

Santa dropped down our chimney, and let out a groan.

His language was salty. 'Damn Amazon drones!”

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe.

And before we got judge-y ... 'Don't worry, it's faux.”

He had a broad face, and a round little belly.

He gobbled the cookies. 'Haven't ate since New Delhi.”

A bundle of presents was flung on his back.

It looked a tad paltry. We cut him some slack.

He snuffed out his pipe and popped nicotine gum.

He saw our long faces. 'Why are you two so glum?”

We explained all our troubles, dire threats and big issues.

By the time we were done, Santa handed us tissues.

We told him of politics, and candidates spiteful.

We warned him of dangers and conflicts so frightful.

He listened so calmly. Not a hint of bravado.

That smell from his pipe. Could it be Colorado?

His eyes, how they twinkled. His smile was so festive.

Then Santa Claus gave us the gift of perspective.

I've circled this globe for so many years.

I've seen pestilence, war, and an ocean of tears.

Horror and sorrow. Seems we were no match.

More than once I thought God would start over from scratch.

Sure, things can look bleak. Our faith gets depleted.

But I'm here to tell you, hope remains undefeated.

It's time to count blessings. It's not time to curse.

Because, trust me my friends, it could be so much worse.

His words were like Red Bull. We thought we'd sprout wings.

This season of hope is about more than things.

Still, we had one last question. We felt sheepish to pry.

'I brought your new big screen,” Santa said with a sigh.

l Comments: (319) 398-8452; todd.dorman@thegazette.com