Hlastradamus has a lot of 'splainin' to do - but will rise again

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The problem lies not with Hlastradamus' stars, but with himself.

The prophet un-did much of two weeks of great work by going 1-4 last week. He can't blame close calls, bad calls or even H1N1. In fact, Hlastradamus may have put the 'H' in H1N1.

They were lousy picks. There is only one excuse. His short-attention span kicked in last Thursday. Never again will he make his selections while watching "Wheel of Fortune" at the same time. The prophet loves those crazy word puzzles.

This week's redemption:

1. Iowa +3 at Wisconsin. NOT AN OFFICIAL PICK. But Iowa's unbeaten and unbeaten teams don't lose. Right?

The real 1. Notre Dame +10 vs. USC. Ten points at home is all Hlastradamus needs to see in this game. He loves friendly Pete Carroll more than surly Charlie Weis, but business is business.

2. Ohio State -13 at Purdue. This week, Purdue Coach Danny Hope got surly himself, refusing to reveal injury info about his players and saying no one needed to know it. The reason coaches reveal it is so degenerate gamblers don't start digging around on their own, Coach. That means asking players, and getting them in big trouble. You're a big-time college head coach now. Act like one.

3. Minnesota +18.5 at Penn State. The Nittany Lions bounced back nicely after their home loss to Iowa, but are they this many points better than a middle-of-the-pack conference team? Nah.

4. Oklahoma State -7 vs. Missouri. Hlastradamus watched Mizzou's fourth-quarter cave-in at home against Nebraska a week ago. Hlastradamus was not impressed.

5. Colorado -10 vs. Kansas. The Buffaloes aren't as bad as their 1-4 record indicates, nor is Kansas as good as its 5-0 mark.

Live long and prosper, everybody.