City PTA hosts panel discussion on bullying

Bullying is aggressive, both physically and verbally. It is intentional, repetitive and often highlights an imbalance of power.

But it's also sneaky.

Bullying isn't necessarily the cliché of the tough kid picking on a smaller classmate on the playground after school. It can be items disappearing from a student's desk, whispers in the hallway between classes, or text messages long after the school day has ended.

“Kids can't get away from cyberbullying,” said Anne Taylor, a school improvement consultant with Grant Wood Area Education Agency. “It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.”

The Cedar Rapids Council PTA hosted a moderated panel discussion on bullying Tuesday at McKinley Middle School. The program was the result of feedback from several PTAs in the Cedar Rapids school district.

“I came because I wanted to hear from a variety if background about what bullying looks like and what I can do to help if my child is in that situation,” said DeeAnn Hebrink, mother of two Cedar Rapids students.

Panelists included Taylor; Isaiah Jones and Vincinte Javier of the Cedar Rapids chapter of Mad Dads; Candace Lynch and Paul Hayes, the district's student services facilitators; and Wayne Bauman of the Cedar Rapids Council PTA.

The group, speaking to an audience of about 50 people, answered questions submitted to the PTA prior to the event. They shared information on school district policies and procedures on bullying, addressed strategies for parents and kids who are dealing with bullying, and discussed the signs of bullying and what parents can to do help.

“It doesn't look the same in every situation, so you have to be very alert and aware of those signs,” Bauman said.

Each panelist stressed awareness, asking those in the audience to talk to their children and question changes in their behavior. If a child suddenly complains of headaches regularly and doesn't want to go to school, parents need to find out why. Likewise, if a child comes home with money or items that aren't his, parents need to find out how this happened.

The idea that bullying is a part of childhood, an experience that some students will have to face during their education, is no longer an excuse, the panelists said.

“Bullying now has much bigger consequences than it ever did before,” Taylor said.

There's a student who takes a gun to school after prolonged bullying. The child who takes his life rather than face his tormentor another day.

Then there's the student who did the bullying, who grows up to be an adult who never learned boundaries. Research says this person is less likely to hold down a job, is more likely to engage in domestic violence and could possibly spend time in prison.

“We have to teach our kids to be more responsible, to care about each other more,” Jones said.

The school district is working to emphasize this point, especially in its elementary schools, with its "Doing Our PARRT" curriculum. The program is designed to help elementary and middle school students develop character traits and skills that help them be responsible citizens, including recognizing and handling bullying. Students are encouraged to speak up when they see bullying happen, if they can do so without bringing harm to themselves.

Parent Jacki Moore said she agreed with Jones when he called bullying a non-issue - until it happens to your child.

“That doesn't mean it should be,” Moore said. “It's important that the PTA and district continue to let parents know that they are focusing on issues that affect our kids.”

Iowa law requires all public school districts and accredited non-public schools to have anti-bullying and anti-harassment policies. According to the law, harassment and bullying in schools, on school property and at any school functions or school-sponsored activity, no matter its location, is against state and school policy.

Both Lynch and Hayes said the district's policy is in line with state guidelines, as well as area school districts.

Students who feel they have been bullied are asked to tell school personnel. From there, the matter is investigated. If a student is found to be in violation of the policy, the student is disciplined.

The severity of the punishment varies.

“There are as many incidents and responses to bullying as there are students,” Hayes said. “You have to take it on a case-by-case basis.”